Finishing the goals you set
A reader of this blog recently asked for advice in completing the goals he sets. He states he makes list of goals, however often never gets started or gives up. This increases his guilt and unhappiness. He has read the advice of several well known personal development teachers, however he continues to be challenged by this problem.
My first advice is to develop passion for the goals you set. If you aren’t really that interested in achieving the goal, you will lack the motivation. If you don’t have the passion for the goal, why bother? Find ways to develop passion towards your goals. One method is to begin to immerse yourself towards the goal. Read books or magazines that talk about it, attend seminars, go somewhere you’ll be exposed to it. Talk to others about it. Make it alive in your mind and it will seem more real. Setting a long list of goals will not be helpful here, it’s difficult to be passionate about a lot of different goals, and you may feel overwhelmed. Pick one goal, or a very few, and don’t add more goals until you have such momentum you’re not worried you’re going to stop.
Next, imagine yourself as having the goal already, picture it mentally and feel yourself having it. Act as the person who has already achieved the goal. This ties back to my previous comment about immersing yourself in the goal. Many today refer to this as the Law of Attraction, however the concept has been around a long time before this term became popular. Setting aside metaphysical/spiritual level influences some will claim as part of the Law of Attraction, the fact is that if you act as though you have the goal, you’ll more naturally do things that move you towards the goal.
Another key tool is to break your goal down into very small, achievable steps. It’s really the same process as project planning but you’re applying it to goals. The most critical portion is identifying the first, very specific step you can take, no matter how small it seems. Many times just taking that first steps will do wonders in getting you started. Maybe that first step is simply making an appointment, scheduling something on your calendar, picking up a book from the library, or writing down an action plan. Just do SOMETHING, even if it’s only 15 minutes you build momentum.
As you go through life, always try to remember that every moment is a choice in how you spend your time. If you’re not moving towards your goal, you are choosing something else. What is that “something else” in your own life? Really think about what it is, and how important it is to you. For example, if you sit and watch a lot of TV, ask yourself is that something you want to change? As long as TV becomes a habit and a temptation, it will be the enemy of changing your habits. This goes for anything which you do instead of working towards your goals. It may not always be something as obvious as watching television, there is an endless list of things that can distract us: browsing the Internet, chatting with a friend, shopping when you don’t need to, or being a workaholic. You need to study your own habits, where does your time go? Again, life is a series of choices, what choices are you making, and are you happy with them?
Use a calendar or task list to commit yourself to things, and stick to it. If it’s in writing, it will be more real. If you want to take more walks for exercise, calendar it into your schedule. There are many ways to do this, ranging from a notepad, notebook planner, e-mail software like Outlook, or specialized software like our MyLifePlanner software.
As a final comment, I want to mention that that personal development on a broader term goes beyond achieving major goals, and rather toward making the little refinements in your life which make a difference. It can be simple things such as processing your e-mail more efficiently, leaving work on time, being a better listener, giving more compliments to others, spending more time with a family member, reading an educational book, getting outside more often for a walk, and eating more healthy foods. We shouldn’t discount these “low hanging fruit” items in our lives, which in some cases will help you towards the bigger goals, not to mention bring more happiness in our lives. Again, what choices are you making with your time minute to minute?
I welcome our visitors to share other tips on ensuring goals get accomplished, or any thoughts you have on the above ideas.
I record my goals on an mp3 player which I listen to fairly often. In doing so, I remain consciuos of my goals. This increases the likelihood of me seeing my intentions to the end.
About finishing the goals you set:
Are the goals you set for yourself motivated by wanting to get away from a current situation, or they motivated by a genuine desire for change for the good of yourself? Is your goalsetting motivated by a need to move away from pain, or motivated by a move towards pleasure? If it is motivated by a want to distance yourself from a situation because it causes you pain, you will be focussing on what you don’t want. You will reach your goals much easier if the goal you set is one that is a move towards a do WANT. I don’t know if I am explaining myself properly… I will give an example.
If I am in a job that for whatever reason, doesn’t suit me and I would like to find other work… start thinking thoughts that are about the wonderful job you want, instead of how you hate your old one and wish you could get another job, so you could leave this one…
Another way to approach your dilemma…. Ask yourself the questions: Why am I still creating this reality for myself? What is the game you are playing, sabotaging yourself from reaching your goals. Why do you still need yourself to feel guilt and unhappiness? What is the payoff for my behaviour… do I get to keep being a victim of life, pretending to be powerless. Is being so powerful that you can set goals and achieve them as well, intimidating to an aspect of yourself?
I hope that these things will help you along with achieving your goals.
It’s funny with goal setting, most times I set myself a goal, visualize it every day and get in tune with it, I achieve my goal. One important thing is to be specific. Last month I set a goal to make 500 Dollars in a side business of mine.
Well towards the end of the month we made a sell of 550 Dollars. I forgot to specify 500 Dollars in commission! Great learning though and we make the money this month instead.
Problems finishing goals can have several root causes.
1) Motivation: You don’t really want to finish the goal,
2) Mental Block: You do want to finish the goal, but a life lesson from your past taught you that the goal you want to attain is wrong, evil or otherwise undesirable,
3) Maxed out: You just can’t find time anywhere to do the things you need to do.
Motivational problems require that you take a closer look at the reasons you have for attempting your goal. Let’s say your goal is creating a successful blog. If writing is not one of your core competencies, it’s going to be hard to accomplish it, but you can do it by focusing on the prize. The clearer you can visualize the prize, the easier it is to pay the price. Anyone who’s gone through medical school can probably relate.
Mental Block problems are harder to deal with. If your goal is to make a million dollars, but if there’s a part of you that believes that you are not worthy of that much money, or that money is morally wrong, then you are internally working against yourself and you will sabotage yourself on the way to your goal. Many of these beliefs and attitudes, let’s call them mindsets, are formed when we are young, and we are really not conscious of them. The long way to eliminating mental blocks is therapy, the short way is through affirmations. Simply by saying “I am worthy of making and having a million dollars,” you cause your subconscious to question and maybe even reject its old programming. In the meantime, being aware of how you feel and identifying where those feelings come from will bring your automatic assumptions up for review. Then your conscious self will work on a new mindset that agrees with your world as an adult, rather than your world as a child.
Maxed out: If you don’t have time for the things you love and want to do, you need to improve your life and achieve focus. I have two recommendations for you, a book by James Ray, called Harmonic Wealth: The Secret of Attracting the Life You Want, and a free audio called Your Million Dollar Desire, that’s available on my website.
Once you’ve figured out what it is that you truly want, I’d recommend a book by David Allen called Getting Things Done. He makes a science of the technical side of reaching goals.
Hope this all helps. Just asking the question about how to finish goals is really a great step in the right direction. Good luck.
Passion is definitely a great motivator. Finding pictures of your goals and making a vision board is extremely helpful. You can even write a visualization story, which is a story about yourself already having achieved the goal.
Action is key. Concentrate on always taking the next step towards your goal, even if you don’t know how you will ultimately achieve the goal. Just take that first step with belief.
Last week I reflected back what is the difference between the goals that I achieve and the ones I don’t. I found one important difference, which is detachment!
As important it is to feel that you have achieved a certain goal and to make you feel that way every day until it becomes second nature. You then need to let go and detach yourself from it. Often I only realise that I have achieved a goal long after I completed or even surpassed it.