Personal Development Blog

What is “Positive Thinking”? Is it doing Affirmations such as at Dailyaffirm.com? Or are Affirmations and positive thinking just self-delusional as stated at Steve Pavlina’s Blog?

My own thought is that both points of view have value depending on the circumstances. I believe the wrong type of Positive Thinking is where one is trying to force optimism which isn’t really there. Your emotions and thoughts are driven by your underlying beliefs and attitudes, and it’s those which must change. Trying to control your thoughts through Affirmations isn’t going to help unless you truly believe in the affirmations, and are using them as a means to remind yourself of what you have chosen to believe.

I agree with Steve’s blog article regarding trusting your own intelligence in self-growth. However, the value I see in positive thinking is that it’s the opposite of negative thinking. Being negative stifles your intelligence, as it enables negative emotions such as anger, resentment, and frustration to cloud your thinking and take over. When I get into a debate with my wife, by remaining in a positive mindset, we have a more productive discussion. Conversely if I’m full of anger, I lash out and say things which are hurtful, and doesn’t benefit anyone.

One problem with the phrase “Positive Thinking” is the baggage it carries with it, as Steve points out with a reference to Stuart Smalley from Saturday Night Live. Perhaps a better phrase is Positive Attitude. One dictionary states “Attitude” means “A state of mind or a feeling; disposition”. Your state of mind has a huge influence in how you react to the things and people around you. It’s really up to us as to the attitude we want. If a driver in front of you is going way too slow and you get angry, is the anger his fault or yours? If you don’t like anger, why are you choosing it? Is it helping the situation? A positive attitude may simply mean you choose to retain a positive attitude rather than negative. This doesn’t cloud your thoughts with negative emotions, and allows you to think clearly about other more important things your mind might be occupied with.

Here are some of the other benefits of keeping a positive attitude:

Higher Productivity

Maintaining a positive attitude may lead to higher productivity, whether in your career or personal life. When you are negative, you tend to give up more easily, get frustrated, get easily distracted, and drag your feet. A simple thing such as how you think can make a world of difference. W. Clement Stone spoke of this when he said “There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude.The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.”. Whether you want higher productivity is up to you, however consider the cause and effect of your attitude. Zig Ziglar also spoke of this when he said “Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.”.

Better Relationships

Who wants to be around a negative person? Do you? When you are negative, you are sending out signals to others to stay away from you, unless perhaps they are also negative and seek a similar mindset. Do you want to attract negative people, or positive people? Ken Keyes Jr. touched on the reality of this when he said “A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world; everyone you meet is your mirror.” Your attitude affects both personal relationships, and career relationships. While the impact of your attitude in a personal relationship is perhaps more obvious, in the workplace it’s often less obvious. It’s the relationships, trust, and rapport you build with others which contribute greatly to advancement opportunities, and should not be overlooked.

Better Health

Both modern medical providers and ancient practitioners have said that your attitude can affect your health. Your body takes queues from your mind, and negative thoughts can be disruptive to your internal body processes. Handling stress is a key challenge for us, to avoid stress-induced illnesses. The reverse is also true that having good health will contribute towards a positive attitude, so take care of your body! A holistic approach is to focus on your mind and body together, ensuring you are eating well and getting exercise.

Happiness

Happiness is perhaps one of the most important things of all, what good are the other things above if you aren’t happy? Financial success doesn’t necessarily equate to happiness, many wealthy people are quite unhappy. Happiness is really a state of mind, and we have complete control of our own minds. Unfortunately, many leave their thoughts and emotions on “autopilot”, never deciding for themselves how they want to think. Maintaining a positive attitude equates to a decision to be happy, it’s your choice! Buddha summarized how to remain happy no matter how bad things may seem when he said “Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.”. It’s also important to not miss the things that truly make us happy, which is not typically money, but often little things we take for granted. As Robert Brault said, “Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”.

Spiritual Growth

If you believe in a creator, or practice a religious belief, then you may also believe that remaining positive is part of a spiritual growth path. Many religions teach this basic premise, that we should remain positive and trust in our creator no matter how bad things may seem. Even if you don’t have spiritual beliefs, perhaps you feel something within your conscience that urges you to be positive, and thus have a positive impact on others in your life. Being positive makes others feel good, which is rewarding in itself.

You Are Your Thoughts

What are you but your thoughts? Mahatma Gandhi said “A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes.” What do you want to be? Your thoughts have more impact than you realize, and define who you are, how others react to you, what comes into your life, and how you will be remembered when you are no longer here. What type of person do you want to be? Make sure your thoughts and attitudes support your definition of yourself!

How to Do It

How to maintain a positive attitude is a subject for a different article as there are many methods to achieve it. However, deciding you WANT to do this is a key first step, and can lead you towards pursuing methods which work for you. A good second step is to begin to simply recognize when you are not feeling positive, and pause to reflect on whether you want to CHOOSE to feel that way or not. Getting your mind out of autopilot puts you back into control, which is fundamental to changing your attitude.

Steve Moore