Getting divorced is never a fun experience. Whether you divorce your spouse on good terms or bad ones, it’s still the end of a journey as a couple. It can be difficult to emotionally accept closing the door on your relationship, and also mentally exhausting with all of the paperwork involved.
On top of the already painful experience of divorce, is also the challenge of personality complexes. If you find yourself married to someone who has narcissistic personality traits, it can be even more challenging to navigate the process.
In order to help you get through your divorce, here are some of the best tips for handling someone with narcissism.
Hire a Lawyer
Before anything, it’s important that you talk to a lawyer. Lawyers are there to ensure you don’t make any significant mistakes, and you have proper representation in court. When dealing with narcissists, they may often convince you that what they’re saying is true. It can be difficult to wrap your head around what you’re experiencing and think straight. That’s why having a lawyer there to help you see through the murkiness, and gain clarity is important. Since narcissists tend to twist your words, a lawyer can take over your communication for you, so you don’t put yourself in a risky position.
Divorce can take its toll on your mental well-being. Handling the weight of divorce on top of a career, and raising a family can be downright exhausting. When you have a therapist there to bounce your ideas off of, you can identify reality from perceptive reality. Even though a narcissist may convince you that things are a certain way, talking to a therapist will help you recognize that they’re attempting manipulation, and help you separate fantasy from the truth. Above all, it can help you cope with your feelings of stress and move on emotionally.
Don’t Communicate Unless Necessary
When divorcing a narcissist, you should expect and prepare for worst-case scenarios. If it’s your idea to end the marriage, then it can result in a massive shock to their ego. Since narcissists define themselves by their ego, they’ll stop at nothing to avenge their feelings of rejection. They will stop at nothing to hurt you with words, accusations, and possibly even physical abuse.
It’s best to limit conversations with them as little as possible, and let your lawyer communicate with you when possible. It can be challenging to cut off communication if you have children together, so if you must, you can communicate with them, but make sure you only stick to the facts and don’t allow them to drag you into conflict. Above all, consider communicating only by writing. That way you can track all of your interactions, and have proof of whether you said or did anything.
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