Dealing With Relationship Insecurity? 12 Tips for Letting It Go

It’s only natural to feel insecure every now and then. (We are human, after all!) Of course, feeling insecure too often can put a damper on the excitement of being in a relationship. It can be tough to admit to yourself that you struggle with relationship insecurity, but it’s one of the most important steps in creating a healthier mindset.

Too much self-doubt is exhausting for both you and your partner! So, how can you move past it?

Here are 12 tips for letting go of relationship insecurity:

1. Stop saying you are insecure.

If you keep telling yourself you are insecure, you’ll eventually start to believe it. You can’t change your behavior if you don’t truly believe you can, and that starts with a little positive self-talk!


2. Doubt your doubts.

Your doubts are actually your deepest fears, parading around as opinions. They’re not. Whenever doubt pops into your head, tell yourself it’s only your insecurity talking and reflect on why it might be crossing your mind.

3. Name your critic.

If you’re the one tearing down your looks, abilities, or self-worth, then you’re the critic—not your partner or anyone else. Before you can fix the problem, you need to be honest about what or who is causing it. (In this case, you!)

4. Stop overthinking.

Overthinking and self-improvement are like oil and water—they don’t mix well. Focusing all of your energy on negative thoughts does nothing but feed into your self-doubt. It’s easier said than done, but next time you find yourself overthinking a situation, try to stop. Tell yourself you’re looking too much into it and focus on the positives instead of the negatives.

5. Get to the root of it.

Identifying your insecurities is a great start, but knowing why you have them is what will help drive you toward a healthier mindset. Self-reflection is key!

6. If you need help, ask for it.

Not everyone can overcome insecurities on their own, and that’s okay! Reaching out to a therapist, close friend, or support group can make all the difference. (And you’ll realize you’re definitely not alone.)

7. Cut off your comparisons.

Comparing yourself from others can be truly damaging to your self-esteem and self-worth. Try taking a break from social media or stop yourself from making comparisons to friends or fictional TV and movie characters. Instead, focus on what makes you great!

8. Cultivate confidence.

Imagine if you put the same energy into your self-confidence as you did your self-doubt. Instead of negative self-talk, hype yourself up! Even if you need to write down an actual list of things that make you awesome, do whatever it takes to help yourself realize what you have to offer.

9. Open up.

Vulnerability isn’t always easy, but it’s so important to let your guard down sometimes. Improving your communication ensures both you and your partner get what you need out of the relationship.

10. Improve self-talk.

Talk to yourself the way you would to a family member or close friend—encouraging, confident, and enthusiastic. Lifting others up is important, but lifting yourself up is necessary.

11. Surround yourself with positivity.

Surrounding yourself with positivity and good people improves your mood, confidence, and motivation to be your best self. You can also read self-help books, listen to podcasts, or put on music that makes you feel good.

12. Embrace insecurity as a part of being human.

Constant self-deprecation and mild insecurity are not the same thing. It’s important to know the difference between the two and determine when you need to address your behavior. Remember, trying therapy is not a sign of weakness. Be confident in your decision to help yourself be the best version of you!

It’s completely natural to feel a little insecure sometimes, but it shouldn’t be impacting your relationships or personal well-being. If it does, it’s time to take action. The above steps can help you throw your insecurities to the side and be happy just being you!