What happens TO you, happens BECAUSE OF you

Tom can’t seem to get ahead in life. He believes he has bad luck.

For example, he was unhappy at work because there was too much office politics going on. So, he moved to another company only to find the same problem. Fed up, he moved on to a third company, and — you guessed it — there was more of the same. “Why am I so unlucky?” he wondered. “Everywhere I go there are nasty people!

Why can’t I find a job where there are some people that I can get along with?” he asked himself. But no matter where he looked, Tom never did find friendly people to work with. He looked everywhere… except within.

Sandra also had a string of ‘bad luck.’ She, too, found it hard to make friends. Moreover, she was always in debt. Her credit card bill was soaring; yet, she couldn’t stop shopping. Add to this her growing weight problem, and you’ll easily understand her frustration. Two months ago, her company hired a motivational speaker who spoke at the company picnic. Sandra was all pumped up. The speaker spoke about our unlimited potential and the great things we can do once we stop making excuses and start accepting responsibility for our own happiness.

Moved to the point of tears, Sandra promised herself to change and realize her full potential. Despite her good intentions, however, her problems remain. In fact, they’re worse than ever.

What went wrong? Tom and Sandra are not unusual. You see, the average person only achieves a small fraction of their potential.

What is the impenetrable wall that blocks so many, making progress impossible?

That wall or barrier is our programming. Some of us were programmed to succeed, others to fail or just get by. We were programmed by our parents, relatives, teachers, friends, the media, and everyone we met. At an early age, we were told what we could not do, rather than what we could do. We were told what our weaknesses were, rather than our strengths. And we were taught that life is a struggle, rather than an exciting adventure. Is it any wonder that so few achieve great success?

The training we get in childhood is called programming because our brain is like a computer, automatically carrying out the instructions that are fed into it. The part of the brain that automatically carries out all the instructions it receives is called the subconscious. The PROGRAMMING we receive (the statements others make to us), creates our BELIEFS. Therefore, we come to believe that life is fair or unfair, people are trustworthy or not to be trusted, we are victors or victims, life is sorrowful or joyful.

The beliefs we have, which are established in childhood, then form our ATTITUDE. Our beliefs color how we see the world. From the perspective of some, the world is hospitable, from the mindset of others it is hostile. Our attitude (perspective or mindset) causes our FEELINGS. For example, those of us who find life exciting feel happy while those who believe life is unfair feel angry.

Our feelings provide the motive and fuel for our BEHAVIOR or actions. For instance, angry people lash out at others while happy people encourage others. Now we come to the most important link in the chain. Mainly, our behavior, which causes WHAT HAPPENS TO US. That is, what happens to you is not caused by fate or accident, but caused by your behavior. In other words, what happens TO you, happens BECAUSE OF you. Suppose I am an angry person who insults someone who then punches me, what happens to me (being punched) is not an accident or fate, but a direct result of my action (insult). Don’t you agree?

So, Tom, who I spoke about in the first paragraph, cannot get along with others, not because of what happens to him in the workplace, but because of his programming. Perhaps he was taught to avoid strangers, that people can’t be trusted and pose a risk.

If this is what he was taught and believed, he would treat co- workers with suspicion and avoid making friends. His behavior, then, would cause others to shun him. It isn’t the world that is against Tom, but it is Tom who is against the world. But because his programming, beliefs, and attitude all reside in his subconscious, Tom is not consciously aware of the causes of his behavior. Nor does he understand how he alienates others.

Instead, he mistakenly accuses them of disliking him.

What about Sandra? Why would she fail despite making her best effort? Again, it is her programming. She may have been programmed to believe she was a bad child. So, she may have a subconscious need to punish herself (for being ‘bad’). Or it may be a case of believing that she doesn’t deserve success. Again, she may have been repeatedly told “she would never amount to much.” If so, her subconscious would accept that statement as a command and do everything in its power to make sure Sandra never succeeds, even if it means engaging in self-sabotage or self- defeating behavior.

Wanting to change on the conscious level is not enough. For if our subconscious remains programmed for failure, we will fail.

The only way out of this dilemma is to change our programming.

So, how do we do that? Well, there is an easy way and a better way. The easy way is to use CD or tape programs that were specifically designed by psychologists to reprogram the subconscious. Such programs are easy to use because there is nothing to study. Another advantage is you can use them without taking a moment from your busy schedule. How do you do that? Play them while you sleep!

But there are disadvantages to CD’s and tapes as well. For one, they can be costly. Also, since we all have been raised differently and have unique programming to overcome, CD’s and tapes bought off the shelves may not be specific enough to reprogram ourselves perfectly. I’m sure they’ll do some good, but it’s unlikely they can form a perfect match with our specific needs. Finally, using CD’s and tapes make us dependent on others, while our goal should be for complete independence or self- reliance.

Well, then, what is the better way? The better way is to reprogram your subconscious yourself. Of course, you’ll need some help to do so, but help is readily available and it comes cheap.

For $6.99 (seven dollars) you can purchase a book that should be considered essential. The book is WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU TALK TO YOURSELF, Powerful New Techniques to Program Your Potential for Success, by Shad Helmstetter, Ph.D., Pocket Books, 1982.

In this exceptional book, Dr. Helmstetter explains clearly and in simple terms everything I already discussed, but in much greater detail, including easy to follow instructions on how to reprogram your subconscious. Do you want to release the genie hidden within you? Then pick up a copy of this book. If you can’t find it in a bookstore near you, order it from Amazon.com.

By the way, now that I mentioned Dr. Shad Helmstetter, I’ll just add that ALL of his books are excellent.

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