Loneliness is a feeling

Chuck Gallozzi

Chuck Gallozzi lived, studied, and worked in Japan for 15 years, immersing himself in the wisdom of the Far East and graduating with B.A. and M.A. degrees in Asian Studies. He is a Certified NLP Practitioner, speaker, seminar leader, and coach. Corporations, church groups, teachers, counsellors, and caregivers use his more than 400 articles as a resource to help others. Among his diverse accomplishments, he is also the Grand Prix Winner of a Ricoh International Photo Competition, the Canadian National Champion of a Toastmasters International Humorous Speech Contest, and the Founder and Head of the Positive Thinkers Group that has been meeting at St. Michael’s Hospital, Toronto since 1999. His articles are published in books, newsletters, magazines, and newspapers. He was interviewed on CBC’s “Steven and Chris Show,” appearing nationally on Canadian TV. Chuck can be contacted at chuck.gallozzi@rogers.com. View his photography at https://500px.com/chuckgallozzi

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61 Responses

  1. chris says:

    really good,thanks

  2. Margie says:

    This article was very helpful to me.
    Thank you

  3. DR says:

    Excellent…
    Thank you,
    DR

  4. Jerry says:

    Thanks for this article, I really needed this.

  5. DeDe says:

    This article was very helpful and inspiring. Thank you

  6. John says:

    This was shallow in my opinion, as what if the person who is lonely also suffers from social anxiety, or panic atacks, or depression, or other physical or mental impairment, then this simplistic article is not really very helpful….

    Having said that I will also acknowledge that for quite a few, those who can act on these suggestions, in this article, are very sage suggestions….

    So mixed value…..

  7. Tyra says:

    Really good stuff, well written and very sensible. All I would say at the end is don’t overanalyse potential problems you have, but note the good aspects and really bring them out i.e. do not change yourself but realise that you already have what it takes to be a good buddy

  8. Josh says:

    i thought i “felt” lonely for the past 4-5 days… But then i realized (thanks to your article) that I didn’t “feel” lonely, but i felt unable. I realized I need to do something to feel better. I didn’t know why I felt lonely until I realized that the reason i didn’t know why is because there was no reason. I was making myself feel lonely.

    Thank you 😀

  9. Hester Myburgh says:

    Thank you, this was very helpful to me. H

  10. Paula says:

    Very nicely written article with inspiring quotes and sensible suggestions. I’m glad you also added that being alone long enough to know yourself is a positive thing.

  11. Jawwad Saif says:

    Inspiring…

  12. bev carpenter says:

    Inspirational. Thank you for the reminders and the wonderful words of wisdom.

  13. nica says:

    thanks for this article …..
    this help me alot,,,
    ♥♥♥

  14. Sree Lekha says:

    Thanks for such a nice article… it helps many people….

  15. Capt, Motts says:

    I’m in bad shape .. My age is 70, my dearest fiend and love just broke uo with me because she feel guilty about her husband newly found illness, I understand her feeling guilty but I love her dearly. I love her very, very much.

  16. Thinker says:

    Words can not describe how grateful I am for this article.

  17. Ammar says:

    im in love who wrote this article

  18. prakash says:

    I was feeling lonely and i too don’t know dose make me feel lonely. after reading this article it impressed me from loneliness I started to do work when i am alone in my home like reading books or doing some physical activities which will move you away from your loneliness or when yyour i a bad mood. and one more thing important..when your alone give importance to the work which gives you more intrest, this habit will really work and you can get releif from your loneliness. again thans for such an article.

  19. Greta says:

    Thank you for this article. It was a breath of fresh air.

  20. Lori says:

    I understand all of these meanings. All i was looking for was something to help me. i lost my brother because he went to jail. My other brother wants to finish school liviong with my aunt. The only people living in my house is me and my mom. Everyone left i just feel so lonley. this helped me a little. i just wish you would please reply and give some tips to forget about my family for a second and enjoy life as im supposed to. Im only 13 years old and im going through all of this.
    -Lori

  21. Steve M says:

    Lori, be sure your mom knows how you feel, and ask that she helps you with opportunities to spend time with friends of yours, or to get into activities where you can make new friends your age like sports, classes, clubs. There are also various online social sites (e.g. Facebook) and free online games (e.g. Free Realms) where you can meet others. Just be sure to never trust a stranger with personal information like your real full name, phone #, or address. My son is 13 and he does fine without any brothers or sisters, you just have to look beyond the family. And it’s ok to have alone time just to do things for yourself like reading, which ultimately help you have better relationships with others.

  22. Samuel M. Esther says:

    I’m happy that I have read this article, and it really helped me become happier. Like Lori, I am also 13 and my parents work all the time, my brother has major autism, my sister is suicidal, and everyone else seems to ignore me in my family. I literally don’t have chances to talk to anyone in my family anymore except for the occasional “hello”, and I sometimes do not even see any of my family for days. I really am glad that I can vent this somewhere, even if it is just on some message board. I need a little advice about what I should do to help me, because even though I reach out to others, they are busy doing their own thing, mostly which includes ignoring me. So could someone please respond? I just need a little help here…

  23. Draemboat says:

    This article has helped a bit. Although my loneliness isn’t because I want to be lonely its because of social anxiety that I have developed in the 10th grade. Im now in my second semester in college and am an AB honor roll student but still feel lonely with no friends even though I get along with some. I hardly go out anywhere,I go to school and come back home everyday. I also go to church but now I rarely go because of my issue. Even going to the store triggers my anxiety. Iv’e never had a girlfriend although girls do check me out and have called me cute(not cocky btw) and I highly doubt I ever will have one. I recently got a 1 liter bottle of tequila(40% acohol) as a gift from a cousin and am planning on using it to give me courage to take my life away pretty soon..all in all, life goes on.Peace

  24. Steve M says:

    Hi Draembot, social anxiety isn’t a reason to take your life. Lots of people have far worse problems and would love to trade places with you. You don’t have to conform to living your life a certain way to be happy, and life after college can be real different. Please take even more courage and know that you get get through this and make things better if you work at it.

    Check out http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/ and maybe you’ll get some ideas or contact some others there for online correspondence. Also see if there are some counseling available at your college, even if just to have someone to talk to.

  25. Tjskc says:

    Draemboat: I used to feel much like you did….social situations intimidated me greatly. Have you talked to a doctor about these feelings? There are many very effective drugs, such as anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications. It sounds to me like you might greatly benefit from one or a combination of these. They helped me greatly and I highly recommend you at least speak to a doctor about them.

  26. anne says:

    u are not alone no matter who you are and where you from. U have someone with you be sure to look around. At least now u have me!Be happy becoz our life time is short 😉

  27. Teista says:

    hi.i used to be a very friendly person back in my school days.but after joining college, i dint make many friends. i felt left out seeing others having a lot of fun in big groups. The so-called friends that i made were never the kinds to stick by me. i have been going on & off into frequent depression. i think i dont have what it takes to make friends.I do academically well and dont look bad.i dont know what repels people from me.i feel extremely lonely.could you please help me with some advice ?

  28. Steve M says:

    Teista, it’s unlikely you are repelling people, more likely you are an introvert and is simply more difficult to develop a friendship, especially with another introvert.

    Look for groups you can join- clubs, sports, spiritual/religion, community service, whatever, anything that gets you around other people more. You are just like I was in college, and joining a group helped so much and eventually led to a good friendship with someone who was as introverted as I was. Don’t let these concerns distract you from focusing on your education and personal development, the rest will come in time if you just relax and keep up the self-esteem you deserve. Search out some good books to give new perspectives on this, one I recommend is The Four Agreements.

  29. Rodney says:

    Hi who ever wrote that is a truly amazing person,thanks,I have isolated myself from the world to fix myself and im ready to begin my journey threw life,isolation is not as bad as it is made out to be,I use to be around not so good people that sensed my weakness and preyed on it,now im strong and would not allow anyone to do that to me,when theres a problem theres something to be learnt not done.

  30. gavin says:

    Tiesta, the start of a new semester can be a good time to say hi to the people around you, probably people you’ve never had a chance to meet. if you lack confidence though, you’re likely to try being “friendly” at first, and then give up trying, basically contenting yourself to be the quiet one, and that can make you difficult to approach. I don’t know, but I think if you desire contact, you shouldn’t be hiding it, and though over persistence is annoying, giving up trying after only talking to a couple people is probably much worse.

    basically, I think one of the best cures to loneliness is to pretend that you are social, because for many people it is their inward quiet nature that keeps them from making all the social connections they desire. hope this helps.

  31. teista says:

    thankyou Steve and Gavin ,.. i’ll try , harder.. your help means a lot.

  32. Brooke Clark says:

    Thanks 🙂 It helped 🙂

  33. Rajasekar says:

    I just read your text, I don’t know how your logic will works, but I feel little confident after reading this. But I’ll sure to use your logic, lets see how this works out for me.

    I am sure I’ll get back to you…. Thanks.

  34. Ganesh says:

    Hi Exactly as the first comment says. I read this at a somewhat vulnerable time for me and it worked wonders. I feel relieved. Thank you! May God grant you all the good things in the world! 🙂

  35. m.di says:

    wow! this is good thanks! really! nice!

  36. Louise says:

    I have to say that if you are feeling longely dont read this, it just makes you feel that it all your fault because you dont think of others, i have constantly helped others but feel that being lonely people do not recognise or want to know because being moody etc is one of the frustrations of being lonely

  37. John says:

    I just read the above not sure if its helped, its nothing new to me.
    I’ve beat shyness and lonelyness in the past, met the most beautifil person in the world, felt happy to be alive and share my life with that person, built up a relationship over a year moved in with her and lived 3 wondeful years together that I’m very grateful for.
    This year I married my soul mate, we planned to start a family, but after 20 days of marriage I came home and found her dead, natural causes nothing that was forseen, and now I feel so lonely. I’ve lost everything that mattered in my world.
    I can be sociable, I can build bridges but I cant be happy this is what lonelyness realy is knowing how good life can be and being dealt the worst hand ever.
    There was a time I’d say pull yourself together but now all I want is to be with my wife.
    I have friends, I have family, but at the end of the day I am alone and lonely.

  38. Rick says:

    Hey John,

    I just want to let you know that I think that is the hardest part of your life. Believe in yourself. Always keep in mind that you gave your wife the best time of her life, and she gave it too you.

    I think, because you write that you both were so happy,she wants you to be happy, but you can’t be without her. I understand it, but I hope you will feel better in the future. Feel strong John!

  39. Daisy says:

    Hope this article will help me out to deal with my lonliness..Its a great article,and would like to thank you for this…keep up your good work.with lov D
    daisy

  40. lonly man says:

    Thx very much for this articke hoping to feel brtter

  41. Lacey says:

    This article is awesome. Made me realize a lot, and made me want to be a hell of a better person.

  42. drftwood says:

    I feel my social isolation started at an early age.For some reason people don’t like me. I come up against the same situation time and time again of regection and isolation after people know me for an extended period of time. Wish I knew what I do wrong to antagonize those that have prolonged exposure to my personality. Now at age 58 I am dealing with it again in my work place and overall social circles. People just dislike me. I think I am harmless as an idividual, work efficiently and try to scialize with others but always with the same results. If they know me for long I come up against indifference or dislike.

  43. kad says:

    thanks for these encouraging words…it really lifted my mood and i am feeling happy after being reminded that everything has pros and cons..and it depends on u..which ever u choose to live with..After all being alone doesn’t mean u should feel lonely..!!!

  44. John says:

    this helped i need to do somthing about it i do…. need to scale the wall of anxiety
    sadness and anger

  45. Teebaby says:

    Nice article. Very incouraging. Just what I needed…

  46. kleopatra says:

    Hello.I am a 14 year-old girl from Greece and I do not want anyone to feel alone.If you have any brothers or sisters try to talk to them about your problem and since they are your family members it is logical that they will help you.If you do not have any,go to a psycologist or talk to your parents,friends of your parents or even to good people from work,old classmates and friends…Go to the church and pray.The Lord is here for everyone.Live your life.I hope I helped you.But remember…there are people willing to help you.And If there aren’t any,I love you!Just trust people around you.

  47. Bass says:

    The question that got to me is: Would you want to be friends with someone like you?

    I think I would.. 🙂

  48. crystal says:

    Thank you, for take the time cleared that up LONELYNESs.. your right .. right now I feel that way.. I been trying everything you said.. but you last part got me..

  49. Moe says:

    Great article. Short and to the point, and very informative.

  50. ws says:

    I kept loughing myself when reading this. Thank you for such a nice artical, it is very useful !!!

  51. kritika says:

    thanx. its same story what i feel i think after reading this article i feel good and got what i have to do.

  52. Eve says:

    Drftwood seem to have spoken the story of my life. Only, I am 35 tomorrow. I don’t understand why people in general do not like me. I have spent so much of my life being kind to others with only heart ache in return. I find myself growing more shut off from the world and bitter that I have bent over backwards for others, only to find pain in return. The old adage of what you give you get in return, surely has not applied to my life. Why even try anymore? Beyond the fact that I wish for once in my life I were loved the way I have loved. Wishes are just that though. A wish. I have come to find I do enjoy my own company. Which is a wonderful saving grace. I just wish I could feel better about the world surrounding me again.

  53. feb says:

    thank u i love this articles, it soothes me
    i live alone n faraway from my family
    i feel empty and lonely at night

  54. Abby says:

    You are so blessed. Your words enlightened me and i felt like i talked to you. I am happy now. I am not feeling lonely i am feeling cherished and confident.
    Thank you.

  55. sammytea says:

    I have friends lots , I have a family , but nobody understands me its me that thay come when thay need help but thay can’t help me . I want love thats what I want I’m lonly that I don’t have anyone at my side and I can’t find him I now I’m young but I fell that I will be the only one in my life that will be alonly forever .

  56. Gintaras says:

    I’m feeling very lonely too,and i want to hug that girl,who loves me.I don’t need just to sex from girls,i just want a true love :/
    13 yrs old,Lithuania

  57. Russ says:

    I have friends lots , I have a family , but nobody understands me its me that thay come when thay need help but thay can’t help me . I want love thats what I want I’m lonly that I don’t have anyone at my side and I can’t find him I now I’m young but I fell that I will be the only one in my life that will be alonly forever .

  58. lhakpa says:

    Thank you, i am staying alone in one big house these days so i am really feeling lonely but after reading this article i am feeling bit good.

  59. markrjg says:

    well written article, well explained. Your written skills are greatly appreciated. Thank you for writing this article. please continue writing.

  60. Christopher says:

    Thanks this is me most of the time the way I feel so I appreciate this post. It makes me feel better.

  61. Guest says:

    very enlightening, everything is true…but i think it`ll take some time for me to overcome this feeling of loneliness,of always being aloof. i don`t know yet but i think i need someone to talk to.

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