Discussion in 'General Self Improvement' started by Cecil Estrera, Aug 20, 2011.
Replies: 60 | Views: 10667
For more details visit http://breakthroughfearandselfdoubt.com/
Focus more on your strengths rather than weaknesses. I dealt with low self esteem and lack of self confidence for years, it's wasn't easy but I'm proud to say I'm an overcomer. It's all about your core beliefs about who you think you are vs. who you really are, changing how you see yourself takes self emotional awareness, learning how to replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts, affirm yourself daily and believe what you say to yourself. Words have more power than we know...
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Hey thanks for your sharing,
You have won on confidence thanks for your friends and if you are in big number you can feel better but that's not ask at the real questions: you self confidence and esteem.
That's worked with a time if you invests it and keep your focus on: I had the same problem but with people or not it still not comfortable.
And it was better for me to be clear with my self confidence: I have read inspiring books and make exercises about and that was worked for me.
In my opinion you need to work about it ;-)
When you have big goals, high purposes in writing that gives a sense of confidence and determination in life that makes feel happy about yourself!!!
Always have your goals in writing, read them every single day, and if you want, like Grant Cardone says, ''whenever I fail or have any bad day, I write down my goals to remind myself where I'm going''
Have your goals in writing, review them and you''ll see the results and feeling about yourself!
In the very competitive age we find ourselves where people would practically do anything to outsmart others simply to achieve success at anyone's expense, it is very easy to lose confidence in oneself but the truth is that YOU are pure potential - unrealised ability.
There is something unique about you in the way that you are constituted that makes you different with something valuable that you can offer to the world. Your expression is also unique and there will never be another person like yourself, as you probably do know that you are approximately 1 in 16 billion people.
Just think about that...
Simply being yourself is the confidence you need and working on the amazing person that you are reveals the blessing to humanity you truly are. Never lose hope in yourself because you are truly amazing!
Ways on how to improve self confidence. This video might help you
Visit our website to learn more on self improvement and self help
There are various courses and programs available for boosting confidence level, Hypnosis course is one of the best and easy way to do that. Being a Therapist I saw very positive results in user who are using Hypnosis. You can try this for you as well.
What would be your top 3-5 items that help with it?
For me, it is about sparing 30 min each day before i sleep to thank myself and appreciate all the goods i have done for the day...
Hi Cecil and everybody!
I too have often suffered from lack of confidence. I'll let you into a little secret. I have always been surrounded by very negative people. People who's only goal in life seemed to be to hold me under their thumb. This lead to me suffering from depression all my life and still to this day it's something I struggle with.
It took me a very long time to get to a place where I could look in the mirror and say to myself, 'Hey! I like you.' I have my good days and my bad, just like everyone else but if I had to give any tips or advise to anyone it would be this -
Make a to do list sounds silly I know but there is nothing like the pleasure kick I get from crossing things of my list. It makes me feel like I have really accomplished something even if its something small like take out the trash. It also helps organize your thoughts and see where you need to make changes. Remember to add where you would like to be in life, your goals and aspirations.
Strengthen your ability to be introspective To be introspective means to be able to look with in. See all your weaknesses and strengths. Your failings and achievements. All the answers we need in life lie with in us but we have to be able to look with in to find them. Once you can do this you can break down your list and see what you need to do to make it a reality.
Don't wallow, get pro active I have found that the single most effective thing I have done to increase my confidence is being active. Now I don't mean you have to go out there and run a marathon or take up free jumping, (although physical activity has been proven to be the best way to fight depression and build confidence.) What I am talking about is doing what you can to improve where you can.
For example I never finished school there for never got any official qualifications. I wanted to find a job but every time I went for an interview they took one look at my CV and said, 'thanks but no thanks.' For years I sat wallowing in self pity, living from brew check to brew check and never getting anywhere. Before I knew it I was 28 and stuck in a rut. By following those three simple tips I went from having nothing and going no where to working my dream job and living the life I had always wanted. The best thing about these tips is anyone can use them and they really do work.
I hope this helps you all but let me know what you think and if they worked for you.
I think in life it's important to not give a s**t. We're so obsessed about what people think about us. I used to be like this, now I honestly couldn't give a s**t, that moment you let go and you release the real you. The world will want to know you. Don't hide, step out and be loud.
If you don't have faith in yourself and you're afraid of failure, I'm going to say it now, when you jump you fall but you get back up. Everyone fails and everyone will judge you on those failures, keep improving yourself but not by comparing yourself to others but to who you were last year. By doing this you can achieve wonders.
I wrote about my experiences out my own rut in this blog post, check it out may be of benefit http://www.infinityillusion.com/the-best-you-can-be/
Confidence comes from competence.
If you are not certain of your abilities than its going to show in how you carry out a task.
The key to building confidence is taking small incremental action that build your trust in your own abilities.
Ex: I can't workout out for 1 hour at they gym for 3-4 times a week. Can you do 30 minutes? (be hones with yourself.) No I can't commit to that. Can you do 15 minutes. Oh yeah! Of course. So start there. 15 minutes at the gym for 3-4 times a week. Schedule it. What may be the consequences of not working out? I'd have to donate $20 to the KKK. Well that motivate someone to take action. Consistency will build the confidence in your ability to do 30 minutes, then 45, then 1 hours.
I think confidence is a mental muscle you can build.
What's more important than believing in your abilities is to accept and love yourself no matter what. Even if you "fail" at something. Don't be afraid to be wrong, or to make your opinion heard among people. Take the initiative, make things happen. Shape the world according to your own vision. Have standards. Gawd, I could give advice all day, lol
Mindfulness is method i often using to clear glean my mind . I don't know uses of mindfulness, it's good
Focus on the positve and ignore the negative. Just like js14 said "Confidence is simply not caring what people think of you"
As ive grown older my perspective on life has changed, ive learnt new ways of dealing with things and one way ive found has worked for me is to ignore the negative. People can laugh, but once you claim your actions no one can touch you mentally. Say they laugh at what clothes your wearing or how you have styled your hair. You have done things in such a way that makes you happy. Who gives them the right to take that positive vibe away from you? You do! Dont give them that much power! Saying ignore the negative and focus on the positive isnt going to be easy but it will pay off big time in the long run. Keep ya head up and choose your friends wisely.
Confidence just like other emotions flows outward once we are whole, full and can overflow with the emotion or feeling. The simple answer self-investment. Here are 3 suggestions based on what works for me and most of my coaching clients. I personally use them all together.
1. Don't compare. Realize although we cross paths with many, our start and end is unique and our life is uniquely ours.
2. Visualize your self as confident in situations you don't normally feel confident. This is helpful in merging your spiritual energy with the person you want to become and also based on how the confident you handles scenarios it gives you practical action steps to take if they arise in the Earth Realm. (the incredible thing is once mastered in mind they likely won't arise in physical life!)
3. Setting a F.A.S Goal.
I personally think confidence flows from the amount of value we believe we add to a situation, circumstance or person. By perceiving yourself as more of a value to the world others will too and the cycle feeds confidence both from both sides.
F is fun for you, the mere thought about doing this activity should bring joy.
A is attachable, meaning you resonate with the goal and truly see it as self-investment.
S is start-able get a goal you can start soon after committing to it.
*****IMPORTANT, the truth is you are already incredible and setting a FAS goal isn't because once you complete the goal you will be of more value, many fall into this trap, I read over 300 books and wasted a lot of time. The benefit of a FAS goal is the focus you place on the journey and who you become on the path itself. Journey focus not goal focus on this one.
Last thing I want to point out Cecil, your confidence in just posting this thread and seeking help is commendable !!!
The best advice I can give you is the following. Self-esteem is all about self-worth, usually this is increase helping others through your gift. Figure out what you are gifted at, develop it and then share it. Watch your self esteem and self worth increase.
This is also practicing compassion, compassion builds esteem!!
Eye contact is such a huge thing, I always notice that when I consciously hold eye contact with people my confidence goes up. When you continue this practice on the train, other public area's, in conversation and all your other interactions you will notice a build-up. (Don't over do it though lol)
If you really want to dive deep read - The Six Pillars of Self Esteem and The Four Agreements.
Self esteem is something that is often overlooked and underestimated for self development.
Social anxiety can drain your self esteem and leave you feeling like you don't deserve happiness or the good parts of your life.
Reducing your social anxiety has a massive knock-on effect on your feeling you have towards yourself as you are grounded and present in any situation.
My most recent blog post has step by step instructions on how you can take action to reduce your social anxiety.
If you feel as though you would benefit from not feeling socially anxious, check the guide out here: https://modernmansguide.blogspot.co.uk/2017/11/how-to-beat-social-anxiety-action-based.html
I didn't have good self esteem till half way through secondary school which is when most people are at a low I think. I basically realised that confidence was attractive, so I faked it. Then people treated me differently because they thought I was confident, and by differently I mean better! So my confidence grew, and now I don't fake it, I love being me, and it's my life goal to make everyone I meet like being them xxx
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