Breakup

Discussion in 'Introduce yourself' started by GullibleDave, Oct 26, 2017. Replies: 2 | Views: 102

  1. GullibleDave

    GullibleDave New Member

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    Hello everyone, my name is David I am 43 Years old from the Uk.
    I was with a girl for just over 9 years, we broke up a few months ago now, the last time we saw each other was 25th July, not long after that period all that we ever seemed to do was argue and disagree on alot of things, i admit i did things wrong in the relationship, i could of did many things different, but i never, but i also know that she was also to blame to the downfall of the relationship, i stopped talking with her, and 2 weeks later i was starting to move on and felt that i could start to breathe again, then out of the blue one day i get a email saying that she misses me and cant let go, so i replied and let her back in and we started chating for a while, i didnt like the face that she was struggling, so i tried to comfort her and reasure her things would be ok, so after a few weeks goes by she finally ends it with me, and says she doesnt want to be with me, in which came out the blue, as i couldnt understand why after 2 weeks did you contact me, to then have another 2 weeks, then dump me, so the other week she decided to get her make up on and do her hair and take pictures of herself then send them to my personal email address, to which i replied oh you look very sexy in your photos, then she wanted to talk on the phone, so i agreed, and she called me and asking me what i thought of the new pictures, and i told her to give her ego a boost, she was drunk, and soon after on the phone started blaming to end of the relationship on me, saying everything was my fault, when i know she also played her part in the end or the relationship, a few days went past, and i asked her why did you take the time to get all your make up on and do your hair then decide to send me pictures ? She said it was a mistake and that she was sorry, she is still in daily contact with me as a friend, but for me it hurts to much to hold on to someone i once wanted to pledge my life to, to now going to a distant stranger, i am hurting over the loss of my ex, i would get back with her, but she has made it clear she doesnt want to get back together, should i cut off all contact here so i can get over the loss or what once was, or should i continue talking with her, i want to know what will be best for me in this situation, she was the first girl that i fell in love with, 9 years was a long time, i have a 9inch name of her tattooed on my arm in which i will need to get removed, we both suffer from similar illnesses were we are home bodies and dont like the outdoors because of Agoraphobia, so should i cut all contact and move on ? Any advice of help on this would be appreciated as this in a new experience for me.

    Tia

    David
     


  2. J E Roberson

    J E Roberson Senior Advisor

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    Hey David I created a coaching program called Breakup to Abundance. It has evolved to a local match making company. I only mention that to point out my experience in this area both personal and via coaching clients. Here is my opinion. The fact you are on this thread means you have some capacity to understand personal development, this is a common story for the men whose even if just passively, choice this path.

    Men on this path tend to create a energy that other humans often seek. I of course can't speak on the relationship but the examples you mentioned are clear parasitic type actions to steal energy. When you love someone and have the energy to give its no big deal. The problems arise when either you become empty which will make the other person despise your lack of giving. ..Or when the energy taker is full and only can attack you with the excess energy. I hope you know what I mean.

    The biggest thing I want to impress on you is this contact is literally taking life force from you. Sex traps, sympathy traps, victim roles can all be ploys to steal energy. You'd be amazed what you can do yourself with that energy if you channel it to a single focus. As far as what to do, the problem isn't what path to choose, the problem is the lack of confidence to make the choice. (a trait that repels women). Their is no wrong path for your life as long as you totally align and believe in your decision. My personal opinion, which is just that my opinion is don't be used and manipulated for your life force. If you need breakup recover tools I have them in Abundance let me know.

    Hope this helps
    Live well
     
  3. luckynotlost

    luckynotlost New Member

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    Sweetheart that sounds awful. I am sorry for you. But truthfully she sounds amazingly emotionally manipulative and that's a crap thing in any aspect of your life. I know it sounds so old but it really does get less painful day after day after you breakup, you don't feel it at the time but after a year you look back and are like wooooah! In the mean time treat your hurt heart like you are actually sick. Have long warm baths, allow your self enough rest (and i listen to audiobooks to get to sleep if I am overthinking) and it sounds silly but try to eat really healthy. Your soul and emotions are being carted round inside your body, and if you give it everything it needs it will help you deal with life better. Like if I am feeling rubbish cos I ate heaps of junk food I'm more sluggish, so more sleepy, so more easy irritated. It's all connected. Look after yourself babe x
     

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