The benefits that came from your toughest moments

Discussion in 'General Self Improvement' started by Angie Necole, Aug 4, 2017. Replies: 13 | Views: 369

  1. Angie Necole

    Angie Necole Advisor Member

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    A lot of people complain when they're going through a hard time. And rightfully so. It's definitely not always easy.

    But I do believe that these challenging times are necessary and that when we encounter them, we on our way to something amazing (a new skill, a new perspective, a new life, etc).

    Last April, I got a letter of rejection from the masters program I applied to. I was devastated. I exceeded all the requirements so why didn't I get in? Will I be stuck in my current job forever?

    I had to turn to something, so I started blogging. Now I'm connected with awesome people and learning in a way that does not require me to be confined to a classroom!

    Do you see what I'm getting at?

    What are your guys' thoughts on this? Do you believe we need to go through darkness to get to the light? I'd love to hear your stories too :) I'm always looking for inspiration.
     
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  2. AnMa

    AnMa Member

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    That is awesome!
    I think like you, that sometimes we will be brought into circumstances that will guide us to where we need to be, to a better place.

    I am not there yet, but I think I am starting to get it. I have been working as a 3D animator for 10 years now. Within those 10 years, I have "burned out" 3 times. I have chronique anxiety and panic attacks, and I have been caught in a pattern.
    I crash, I can't work anymore, so I go on medical leave, go to my doctor, get on antidepressants and then get better and go back to work.

    Then, I'm better, so I wean off of medication, but after a few months, I crash again. Medical leave, medication, go back to work.

    Right now is the 3rd time. I have been on medical leave for longer than before though, I haven't worked since February. And I like it lol.

    But each time I crash, and even before I crash, I have existential crisis, and ask myself: Why am I doing this? Is this all there is? Working 40h a week doing the same thing over and over, go back home and have no time and be too tired to really enjoy life?

    Now, it is the third time this is happening. So I have come to realize that this won't change, unless I do something... I have been wanting to start my own business already for years, but I always thought " Maybe after this contract.."

    I tried dog training. I didn't try hard, got discouraged pretty fast and lost confidence in myself quickly. It wasn't easy!

    I didn't regret doing it, but I decided not to do that in the end. Too much human interaction lol.

    I also explored a bit of internet marketing a few years ago, but what I came across were mostly pyramidal stuff... MLMs.. and I didn't dare to spend any money in it.

    But this time, I came across email marketing and a guy doing some great trainings online that finally seems legit, and I decided to go full in! I paid for it, I am investing all I can and since I am not working right now, I am putting a lot of time in learning about it and doing the training! Plus, I get to choose a niche I like and so I will be able to work about something I am passionate, like you blogging! I also want to start a blog, but that won't be my main focus.

    I feel like right now, I really have made the choice that I am going to change everything. I am breaking that pattern because I can't take it anymore!! And it took me to crash 3 times to finally get the message I guess haha.

    I am still trying to heal, heal anxiety and my health, but before that, I would think I had to heal my health before being able to change career and take action. But now I know I don't, and maybe that's why I've been stuck.

    So I can't say I'm there yet, but I believe I am on the right path right now, finally changing my path to something better, resulting from those hard times!
     
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  3. Plokoon111

    Plokoon111 Member

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    ^ Your story sounds a lot like me. Me being 25 years old I went to a community collage at 19 years old not knowing what I wanted to do but picking business.

    Eventually after 3 semesters I took a semester off feeling not sure what I want to do. I decided to want to find something I really liked as a kid and felt passionate about. I had a mission and wanted to do architecture so I went through the fine arts program. Going through it realizing how bad I hated math I tried for graphic design since I was good at computers and it was easy to tweak things in Photoshop.

    Then I began to feel dizzy and I became a mess for another year not sure why my body was making me feel bad. Dealing with strange throat pain when I spoke to not sleeping well. I barely made it through to getting my associates degree but I did. Taking another year to calm down.

    I finally wanted to go to the best school for graphics and went to temple. Well I became so stressed and anxious commuting by train, and working as much as I could as a shipper it caused me new medical symptoms such as chest pain, head stabbing which made me very anxious and caused panic attacks. It was hard to even socialize with others which I wanted to and to complete and give 100%. After last fall and one semester I realized my heart wasn't in the right place and that graphics wasn't going to be the trade for me since it was going to be hard to find a job and how stressful it was going to be.

    I accepted this and right now I plan to keep saving and learning to change my mind and the way I live life into ways that are more calming, positive and confident and I realize that many people have this happen to them even a few of my friends. So right now I focus on things I love like
    Playing drums, guitar and recording which I'm great at and have been doing for many years. I used to look at 25 years of age as time running out, or seeing people getting married accept me or whatever. But now I see it as unlimited time and great things ahead. So I can relate to the medical leaves and dealing with that type of scenario.
     
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  4. AnMa

    AnMa Member

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    Wow it is similar!

    I think more and more people are going through this... the system as it is doesn't work, and more and more people are beginning to realize it.
    Let us change our lives to better ways of living and lead the way for others! :)
     
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  5. ang.necole11

    ang.necole11 Member

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    Beautiful story. It's not always easy but as long as you keep moving forward you will get to where you want to be.:)
     
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  6. ang.necole11

    ang.necole11 Member

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    It seems like a lot of people struggle with what to do in their life. It's awesome when people come together to share their stories. So inspiring :)
     
  7. Visitor

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    I used to say: "You don't know how bright white is until you know how dark black".
    I am sure most of us had our so-called rock-bottoms, except for the real one - six foot under. And we have risen like the phoenix and the underdog we were.
    But it also takes a certain amount of hope in us to seek and identify the good and advantages of a change in plans.
    Those that have lost all hope need others to help them re-kindle their light at the end of their life tunnel.

    For me, there have been many resurrections, and I consider myself blessed for them.
    I also consider the adversities as a blessing too. For they , and overcoming them, have contributed to the person I am now.
    I would not swap any part of my history for anything else because I feel gratefully blessed as to who I am now.

    Here is a short list of adversities and altered benefits:
    • Only child of alcoholic father whom, when he got drunk, abused his only son, for over ten years. I have learnt to forgive him.
    • Throughout school I was at or near the bottom of the class. I was usually the class dunce. Many years later I re-educated myself to enter university and finished with a bachelor degree for health science and counselling.
    • After school, I became an alcoholic and drug addict for many years. It was a park-bench existence, and scrounging for food and cigarette butts. Ended up hemorrhaging and facing death from sclerosis of the liver. After seven years of relapsing from AA I finally surrendered and did the suggested things to stay clean and sober. Next May (2018) will be my 30th year without a drink or drug.
    • Lost everything in a house fire. Took about six months to fully accept everything I lost. Now I regularly check to see if I can let go of everything I have now, including relationships. Now everything is seen as a loan and a daily gift.
    • Like most people I have dodged death several times. Once when I crashed my bike at the Worlds Masters Road Cycling Championships in Austria. Received temporary brain damage, it took at least six months before I could walk in a straight line without having to think about it. During that time I was slow to respond to questions. I realized that most questions don't need an answer, for the questioner already have their own answer. Also, I have learnt to be still in mind and observe what is, instead of always having to make a story and/or claiming things (knowledge) for my self-esteem (look what I know...).
    • Morally I have been to as low as I dare to go, even suicide was intervened when someone found me in a coma. Now I am no longer so afraid to die, but ever so much more to live a spiritual life.
    • Before I turned 40 years of age I became the last surviving member of the family. Now I live alone but not lonely. I love my silent solitude, and have not listened to the radio, or watched TV for over tens years now. The computer for a few hours of Internet is one means to reach out to people in service. Peace and serenity is my home.
    There the main ones.
     
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  8. Cynthia

    Cynthia Senior Member

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    One thing I learn from dark moments is that the strength to get through them surges forth.
     
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  9. universal

    universal Member

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    Don't wish it was easier. Wish you were better
     
  10. Ricardo Ortiz

    Ricardo Ortiz Advisor Member

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    Things happen to us for a reason and they usually happen because we want to be happy in life. When we ask the universe that we are unhappy and wish to be happy , changes take place , experiences happen, some are good or some are bad, nevertheless all experiences are not negative they are just experiences to meet our goal, happiness. If you need to lose a friend, economic hardship or a masters program those things are needed to happen to get you to your happiness. At the end when everything is over you realize that you're glad those things happen because you are at a better place doing what you love.

     
  11. Tendani

    Tendani Member

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    We need hart times to appreciate good times, if we only spend our time having fun and celebrating we wont have the skills and courage to handle tough times when they come.
    I believe it was at night when a man think of coming up with an idea of making a light bulb to bit the darkness... so you do need hard times in your life so you could be creative.
     
  12. ang.necole11

    ang.necole11 Member

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    Thanks so much for sharing such a personal story. It's very inspiring. Glad to hear you're doing well. Sending good vibes your way :)
     
  13. ang.necole11

    ang.necole11 Member

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    Absolutely :) Thanks for sharing
     
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  14. Todd Hicks

    Todd Hicks Senior Member

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    My thinking is that we must sometimes suffer to have success and a more stimulating life.
     

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