Anger Management Tips
Eight simple anger management
tips
The Happy Guy shares offers anger management skills
to help reduce the stress anger causes
"
The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table
had an argument going."
One of the biggest obstacles to personal and career success is
anger. When we fail to control our anger, we suffer several blows:
Anger impedes our ability to be happy, because anger and happiness
are incompatible.
Anger sends marriages and other family relationships off-course.
Anger reduces our social skills, compromising other relationships,
too
Anger means lost business, because it destroys relationships.
Anger also means losing business that you could have won in a
more gracious mood.
Anger leads to increased stress (ironic, since stress often increases
anger).
We make mistakes when we are angry, because anger makes it harder
to process information.
People are beginning to wake up to the dangers of anger and the
need for anger management skills and strategies. Many people find
anger easy to control. Yes, they do get angry. Everybody does.
But some people find anger easier to manage than others. More people
need to develop anger management skills.
Develop your anger management skills
For those who have a tough time controlling their anger, an
anger management plan might help. Think of this as your emotional
control
class, and try these self-help anger management tips:
ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #1
Ask yourself this question: "Will the object of my anger matter
ten years from now?" Chances are, you will see things from
a calmer perspective.
ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #2
Ask yourself: "What is the worst consequence of the object
of my anger?" If someone cut in front of you at the book store
check-out, you will probably find that three minutes is not such
a big deal.
ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #3
Imagine yourself doing the same thing. Come on, admit that you
sometimes cut in front of another driver, too ... sometimes by
accident. Do you get angry at yourself?
ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #4
Ask yourself this question: "Did that person do this to me
on purpose?" In many cases, you will see that they were just
careless or in a rush, and really did not mean you any harm.
ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #5
Try counting to ten before saying anything. This may not address
the anger directly, but it can minimize the damage you will do
while angry.
ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #6
Try some "new and improved" variations of counting to
ten. For instance, try counting to ten with a deep slow breathe
in between each number. Deep breathing -- from your diaphragm --
helps people relax.
ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #7
Or try pacing your numbers as you count. The old "one-steamboat-two-steamboat,
etc." trick seems kind of lame to me. Steamboats are not the
best devices to reduce your steam. How about "One-chocolate-ice-cream-two-chocolate-ice-cream",
or use something else that you find either pleasant or humorous.
ANGER MANAGEMENT TIP #8
Visualize a relaxing experience. Close your eyes, and travel there
in your mind. Make it your stress-free oasis.
One thing I do not recommend is "venting" your anger.
Sure, a couple swift blows to your pillow might make you feel better
(better, at least, than the same blows to the door!), but research
shows that "venting" anger only increases it. In fact,
speaking or acting with any emotion simply rehearses, practices
and builds that emotion.
If these tips do not help and you still feel you lack sufficient
anger management skills, you might need some professional help,
either in the form of a therapist specializing in anger management
or a coach with a strong background in psychology.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Read more personal
growth articles by David Leonhardt, or sign up for A
Daily Dose of Happiness. Or visit his happiness
home page.
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