Developing Good
Habits
As
a dog returns to his own vomit, so a fool repeats his folly
What do you
suppose King Solomon thought when he said in Proverbs 26:11, “As a dog returns to his own vomit, so a fool repeats
his folly.” Wasn’t he trying to teach us that constantly
regurgitating (repeating) bad habits is as disgusting as a dog
returning to its own vomit? He used a strong image to make a point,
but for good reason. You see, bad habits weigh us down, hold us
back, and prevent us from reaching our potential. It’s more
than our potential that’s at stake, it’s also our happiness.
The formula
for happiness is simple: Be good, do good, and you will feel
good. By “be good” I mean be what you ought
to be, and by “do good” I mean do what you ought to
do. What is it that you ought to be doing? Let your own conscience
be your guide. When you do what you ought to be doing, you will
feel good. In other words, you will be happy. When we act as we
shouldn’t, we experience unhappiness. That’s the main
reason it’s important to eliminate bad habits. For a clearer
picture of the relationship between behavior and happiness, let’s
look at a concrete example.
Tom is a first
year university student. His parents are paying the tuition and
he works part-time to earn some extra money. His
friends love to party and he is joining them more often then he
should. So, he’s neither getting enough sleep nor spending
enough time studying. The result? His grades are slipping, and
so is his mood. Since this has been going on for months, he feels
guilty. After all, his parents worked hard for their money and
expect him to take advantage of their generosity by studying. They
are reasonable and are not applying pressure on him to get straight “A’s.” They
merely hope he will try his best. But he hasn’t been doing
that, so he feels ashamed. In fact, he may even fail the coming
exam, so he’s anxious as well.
The guilt,
shame, anxiety, and fear that Tom feels are dark clouds that
have blotted out any happiness. In fact, he’s in pain.
He tries to numb the pain by seeking pleasure, so he goes on a
shopping spree. After the momentary pleasure disappears, the shopping
bills appear. After buying things he didn’ t need, he now
has to sell things he does need to pay his bills. He’s now
more depressed then before and just can’t push himself to
study. Again, he seeks pleasure to lessen his pain. This time he
needs something more stimulating. So, he starts a sexual relationship
with a student in one of his classes. The months pass, but he fails.
They may kick him out of school, but at least he’s receiving
a lot of pleasure. That is, he was until Julie told him that she
is pregnant and will need child support. Tom’s world is collapsing
(as is Julie’s), all because of some bad habits.
If we’re not careful, we can easily become ensnared by bad
habits, for as Tryon Edwards wrote, “Any act often repeated
soon forms a habit; and habit allowed, steady gains in strength.
At first it may be but as a spider’s web, easily broken through,
but if not resisted it soon binds us with chains of steel.” Samuel
Johnson expressed the same idea differently, “The chains
of habit are generally too week to be felt, until they are too
strong to be broken.”
Still another
author warns of the danger of bad habits creeping up on us by
telling the following story: “You can’t
kill a frog by dropping him into hot water. For when you do so,
he reacts so quickly that he jumps out unharmed. But if you put
him in cold water and gradually warm it until it is scalding hot,
you have him cooked before he knows it. The intrusion of bad habits
in our lives is very much like this.”
As a general
rule, we stumble into bad habits. For example, without planning
to do so, Tom fell into a crowd that was more interested
in partying than studying. So, we have to remain ever watchful
of our behavior and take corrective action when it’s called
for. Good habits are usually developed through conscious effort
on our part. Once we form a habit, it takes over and forms us.
The sum total of our habits solidify into our character, so they
can be our best friends or our worst bosses. Ben Franklin put it
nicely when he wrote, “Your net worth to the world is usually
determined by what remains after your bad habits are subtracted
from your good ones.” He also told us that, “It is
easier to prevent bad habits than to break them.”
Do you want
to achieve success and avoid failure? Success and failure are
simply habits, and the good news is that good habits
are just as difficult to break as bad ones. You don’t believe
me? Would you stop brushing your teeth for one month if I were
to pay you fifty dollars? Probably not. How come? Because good
habits are just as difficult to break as bad ones! Motivation is
the ignition that gets us started on the road to success and good
habits are the fuel that keeps us making progress. Just as bad
habits left unchecked snowball and lead to a downward spiral, good
habits escalate and lead to an upward spiral. Each good habit we
gain frees us to focus on bigger and better things. At the end
of the day, we will experience the joy of being a self-made man
or woman.
Tom’s mom and dad were generous. But Tom needed something
more than money can offer. He needed self-discipline and the skills
to develop good habits. If you are a parent of young children,
you have the opportunity to offer them this priceless gift, for
as Lydia Sigourney wrote, “In early childhood you may lay
the foundation of poverty or riches, industry of idleness, good
or evil, by the habits to which you train your children. Teach
them right habits then, and their future life is safe.
© Chuck Gallozzi
For more articles and contact information,
Visit http://www.personal-development.com/chuck
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