Do You Worry…Enough?
Yes, my question is “Do you worry…enough?”
I mean, do you worry so much that you don’t know how to stop producing worry thoughts. If you do not worry in that way, this article is not for you. You have to be very satisfied with yourselves and just skip it and do it something else!
Maybe you are surprised with my suggestion. But, do not be. I am saying that because you probably do not know how troublesome this habit can be, and in that case, this article is not for you.
Unfortunately, I know a lot of people, including myself, who have had bad experiences with worrying, not knowing how to stop it. While trying to find the solution I decided to do something about it.
I have read tons of self help books and articles, including a lot of web sites, to find out how to stop worrying.
Recently, after many years of investigation, I found something that works for me. I will share with you my findings.
If you are “that kind of person”, please, keep going and read this article. You will learn just a couple of the hundreds of available techniques, and who knows, maybe one of these will be helpful for you!
You probably know that more than half of our hospital beds are occupied by people with nervous and emotional troubles
I think that many people do not know what worry may do to them. Not only worry, but fear, hatred, frustration, defeat and despair. Oh yes, it can be harmful. We have to pay the price for our inability to live without all these bad habits. We need to adapt to the world of reality.
I would need another article just to list all these side-effects caused by this emotional diseases. And every single day this list gets longer and longer.
Next time when you are faced with all these “nervous troubles”, be aware of that.
Our mind, our thoughts and our mental attitude are really serious matters. You would be surprised how important they are. Do not underestimate worries and do not be ignorant about them. Everyone needs to learn how to stop worrying. Not tomorrow, but today.
Find out what helping tools are good for you. Try different techniques, and do not give up until you found it.
What was my finding for worrying thoughts?
The first finding was “a new understanding” about how worry works.
Worries are actually fear of the unpleasant events in the near future. A worried person fells that something bad is going to happen soon, and he (she) needs to do something right away.
Fear (worry), itself, is based on illogical thoughts! Why is that? I will try to clarify that statement.
The first thought – something unpleasant is going to happen – is based on an error! The reason is very simple: Nobody knows for sure, and nobody can predict for sure the future with 100% certainty! Who knows what the future holds? None! Uncertainty is natural and a normal part of life and it is a totally unavoidable experience. There is no life insurance for future unhappy experiences. There is no 100% protection against anything in the life.
Yes, we need protection, and we must do everything to protect ourselves. We need to learn how to predict our future, but what am I saying is this: None knows how bad, tragic or unpleasant any future event will be.
I understand, you get mental images of tragic event(s), but I ask you: How do you know how really tragic these experiences will be? Are you sure that you would not be able to handle that event? Do you really believe you do not have any coping skills?
Your fear is definitely based on unrealistic thoughts simply because of the impossibility of predicting the future.
The second illogical thought is your intention to do something about unpleasant situations. Now!
As I understand, you are trying to do something now that you do not know for sure! You are ready to do everything about an unknown situation. You are ready to protect yourself against something you still do not know how bad it will be!
Your desire to do something right now is in the conflict with reality. How do you prevent yourself against something, when you do not know what it will be?
The best therapy for your worrying mind is to live in the present time. You can respond only to things that exist right now, what you can see, hear and experience in the present time. In those situations, you really know what is going on. If you know that, you will accept and practice living in the present time, in the “Now” situation. The only thing you can do, and only what you can do, is now. When you see a real situation, and when you know 100% what is going on, you can react, protect and predict the result. And yes, you can start worry about the situation, but please, do not worry in advance!
The whole story is simple: Do not worry about future events. What can we do just thinking about our possible future problems? Nothing.
Take an example. For instance, you are worry waiting for a lab test result after seeing your physician. You have bad feelings? What can you do in the next 7 days waiting for the results? Absolutely nothing. Actually, you can do something: Forget your lab test result. Even your doctor still doesn’t know what is wrong with you. Therefore, try to switch your thoughts to enjoyable, pleasant, happy thoughts. You are wasting your energy when you worry. As I explained, worrying about the future is illogical, unpleasant, and an unhealthy mental habit.
If your lab test result is not OK, try to do this. Make a logical, constructive plan, with no fear. Imagine those things are going to happen to someone else, not to yourself (I know that, this is very tough to do, but do it, please).If you are not able to do that, try to be very objective and honest with yourself, with no fear. If you are afraid, it will lead to tension, and possible nervous breakdowns. Remember that!
Sit down and think. Analyze all causes and possible effects. Analyze the situation fearlessly and honestly and figure out what the worst scenario is. Reconcile yourselves to accepting the worst possible outcome, if it necessary. Calmly devote your time and energy to trying to improve on the scenario which you have already accepted mentally. Write them down on paper. Make a plan.
Think again. Do something about it, and immediately stop thinking about possible outcomes. You have done everything. Keep that in mind and stick with it. Keep your energy and your mind free of worry.
Acceptance is another coping technique, and powerful tool. Do you believe that accepting the worst is pretty pessimistic? But it is not. Psychologically, it means we have nothing to lose, and automatically we have everything to gain! We do not waste energy, and we maintain our peace of mind.
Some life situations are sometimes unchangeable, and we should learn to accept the inevitable. To overcome the possible consequences of any misfortune, the best thing is to accept what cannot be changed.
Please, do not be frustrated, and do not try to refuse to accept even the worst scenario .You will lose that battle for sure. You know why? Just think: Who has enough emotional strength and vigor to fight and change the inevitable?
Realize that we are stronger than we imagine. Experts tell us that we have the inner resources that have probably never been tapped. Our inner powers are enormous and powerful.
Remember – none can do anything for you. You are in charge of your own health. You, and only you, can find your own way to happiness and good health.
Do you need more suggestions about how to stop thinking about your problems? Did I say thinking about problems? Yes, I did. And I was right. We create problems for ourselves because we think in a wrong, inappropriate and inefficient way. It is not just the problems around us, but our bad thinking that we need to be concerned about. Very often our unhappiness comes from our imagination, not from our reality. And all the circumstances in the world do not make us necessarily happy or unhappy. It is how we react to those circumstances.
Take the very first step to change the bad habit of worrying, by changing your way of thinking. Actually we have just one problem to deal with: The right thoughts. Our thoughts are everything.
They make us healthy, or they can make us sick.
Learn to relax and avoid worries. The simple rule is: You cannot worry if you are relaxed.
The foundation of a positive thinking process is to have happy thoughts and positive attitudes. It is okay to be concerned about problems, but not to worry about them. By concern, I mean: I know what the problem is. I am accepting reality, and I am ready to face it. I will be cautious and try to find a solution. I will calmly take whatever steps I can.
Being worried means the opposite. I do not know what the problem is. I do not accept it. And, finally, I am angry about the problem and do not know how to cope with it.
Use the incredible powers of our mental attitude. Our mental attitude depends on our thoughts, and not where we are, what we have, or who we are. Understanding this fact brings peace of mind.
The next step for changing bad habits is by keeping busy.
Keeping busy is the best anesthetic for sick nerves. How come? Because, it is impossible for any human mind, no matter how brilliant, to think of more than one thing at any given time.
When you are busy, your mind is busy too. Our nerves and our mind can only do one job at the time. A busy mind cannot worry! It is very simple and very easy. Do some constructive work- for that is the remedy for your nerves and the mind.
Closing this article I will remind you: Maybe what you are worrying about will never happen.