How many times have you heard this statement: “I’m stuck in this job. relationship. addiction. attitude or …..you name it?”
Probably many times!
What do all these statements have in common? Behavior and attitude. If you are repeating over and over again “the same story”, repeating the same unsuccessful strategy, making the same mistakes and always getting the same “results”, you’re stuck in the same mental loop.
This situation arises when you’re mentally stuck in a vicious cycle of your own making, revisiting your emotional reaction, worry, fear, or addiction, and you don’t how to get out of “the loop”. Actually, the loop is in your way of thinking, or more precisely, in your brain. Not an easy position, and obviously you need to change something in your approach in order to get a positive result. The question is: “What should you do when you are stuck in this way?”
Before you start doing anything in terms of resolving the problem(s), you need to relax your mind first! “To relax your mind? What are you talking about?” is probably your reaction. I understand your comment, and I will try to explain why my statement is correct.
The simplest answer, to your surprise, would be the fact that a relaxed mind exists when your body is relaxed, not when you’re tense and emotionally stuck. Or, if you like math, the equation is: Relaxed body = relaxed mind.
The very first step in the long journey to find the solution for your stuck position is always to relax your body first. When you let go of bodily tension, you will let go of emotional tension, as well. The more you’re stuck, fearful or angry, the more you’re tense. The more you’re tense, the less you’re relaxed when circumstances don’t go your way. When you’re physically relaxed, the more easily you’ll find the solution and the less fearful you’ll be.
It doesn’t matter if your genes, personality or disorder gives you a predisposition toward the position of “being stuck in life”. No, a relaxed mind in a relaxed body always works perfectly well. This is an example of the long-known mind/body connection.
When your body is in a state of relaxation, your mind (brain) is in the same state. A relaxed brain means less fear, worry, anxiety and depression. Only a relaxed brain can think clearly and efficiently.
As we know, stress arises from internal and external factors. When you are stuck, you are mostly under internal stress, which has to do with your attitude (anxiety, fearfulness, overprotection, overachievement or perfectionism). Generally speaking, we can say that “you’re stuck”, not because of external stress (circumstances), but because of your “internal stress” – which is actually your own attitude.
How can you relax your body/mind?
There are so many things you can do to help yourself. When you’re stuck in life, try to set your mind on something outside of your fearful thoughts. You need a distraction, and your job is to find out what your way is to distract yourself from the “loop in your brain”.
I know it’s terribly hard to overcome your own “sick mind’s process” (excuse my language!). But, that’s the reality; only a healthy mind is not stuck in a worry or an anxiety state. Being stuck in any “permanent worry position” is not a healthy way of living.
If you can select what to think about and how to respond differently to circumstances, it’s a good way to start. Try to do that with help from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Resources for recovery are both within you, and in the world outside of your own mind and body.
Try to distract yourself from your stuck state of mind and your way of thinking. I mean, if you can take time for your favorite hobby, such as gardening, or creative writing or painting, or playing a musical instrument, you’ll help yourself a lot. Any exercise is a wonderful way to relax your body/mind. Try tai chi, yoga, meditation, relaxation responses or visualization.
Volunteering is a good way to distract yourself from your stuck position. In helping others, you’re helping yourself. Just keep busy. Anything is better than being “stuck in.” You know the fact that “busy minds don’t worry”. Keep writing your diary! It’s a very useful way to calm your mind. If you like walking, especially by the river or by the lake, why don’t you try it?
Do you now believe that the statement “Relax your body/mind first” was correct? I hope you do. My intention with this article was to show you this: It doesn’t matter what the nature or reason for your current situation is (`stuck in.’), you need to start by relaxing your mind/body connection first.
If necessary, seek outside help from professionals. Life is filled with mystery, and sometimes we cannot understand and measure everything.