After a breakup, it may be a hard time. The person that you used to call during tough times may be the person you now are upset about. It can be hard to know what to do. Many people invested so much time and energy in their relationship and it ends up feeling like a person that knows so much about you is no longer a part of your life. If you are still interested, it’s possible to stay friends with your ex. It is not always easy, but eventually, you will find your mold together and may even learn how to get your ex back for good. Keep reading to learn more.
Find new common interests
You are probably used to doing fun things and things that you both enjoyed together as a couple. When you are trying to be friends, it can sometimes be awkward and uncomfortable doing things together that you used to once enjoy doing together but in more of a romantic way. This is why it’s important to find new common interests that you can do together. For example, perhaps you can go and play mini golf. This is a fun sport that allows you both to talk and catch up but it doesn’t mean you need to be sitting there talking the entire time. If you both liked going to the movies it can suddenly be awkward because you are not really walking much you are simply watching the movie together and parting ways. Try and find new activities to do together but ones that are not ones you used to enjoy doing together before and ones that will make it as least uncomfortable as possible.
Talk about it
It’s important that you talk about it. Why do you want that person to stay in your life? Let them know so they have expectations of what you are expecting from them. If it’s really uncomfortable it’s okay to say so, they are probably thinking it too and you stating this may actually open up the conversation and allow words to flow more. If this person is as important in your life as you believe they were, this will be okay if you talk about what you are thinking.
Be mature about it
It doesn’t matter if you are old or young, it’s so important to be mature about the situation you are in. Talking about it is a mature move and being honest about the way you are feeling is important too. Don’t sit there and talk about your feelings the entire time you are together, but it’s also a good idea to let the other person know what you are going through and how you are feeling. You both understand that this may be a bit uncomfortable, perhaps you need to hang out more in a group situation at the beginning or perhaps you need to give each other space for a couple weeks and then meet up after that for coffee in a casual situation. Try and stay mature throughout the entire friendship though.
It’s important that you set boundaries. What you used to do with each other is probably no longer appropriate now that you are no longer dating. It’s important to not only set boundaries together but also set boundaries in your own mind. Some of these may include even not just hanging out with your ex alone. Some people may be fine with that but not hanging out with them in an enclosed room alone. Whatever boundaries you feel are appropriate for you and your previous relationship are a good idea to stick to.
Easier for people around you
It may be easier if you hang out in a group of people. This will allow you both to catch up but it will not put as much pressure on the hang out session to be talking the entire time, to even talk at all, or to be one on one and feeling uncomfortable. This is not the case for everyone and sometimes you need it to be one on one so you can talk about something specific. If this is the case, it may be easier to meet in a public setting like a coffee shop. This will make the meet up more casual.
Be there for each other
You both have probably been through a lot with each other and that is one of the main reasons why you want to remain friends even after the breakup. If this is true for you, it’s important to know that person may need you in their life because you know about certain situations that others may not know about. They may need you as a shoulder to cry on or someone to talk about something specific only you know. It’s important to still be there for each other through a hard time and even celebrate something you know they may have had a goal in for a while and cheer them on during the good times. At the end of the day, that’s what being a friend is all about.
As you can see, there are many ways in order to become friends with your ex after you have broken up. If being in their life and them being in yours is something that is important to you, try and reach out and make one of the suggestions. It can be hard to be vulnerable but over time you will realize that.
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