Infidelity: It’s not whom you lie with. It’s whom you lie to

A woman reader asks, “How do you react when you find out that your mate has been unfaithful to you?” A question like this is fraught with difficulties. First, the degree to which infidelity, adultery, or unfaithfulness is condemned varies from culture to culture. In much of the world, for example, polygamy is still practiced. Second, the person posing the …

You must pre-live the future, not re-live the past

Stan is twenty-three, a university graduate, and employed by a reputable firm. His high school ‘romance’ fizzled out while he was going to the university. In his senior year, he met someone else, and soon they become a couple. Recently, however, his girlfriend ended the relationship. Stan feels devastated. He can’t get her out of his mind and finds it …

A helping hand or a slap in the face?

The same hand that helps can be used to hurt. Sometimes, despite our good intentions, we cause pain instead of relieving it. If a friend or acquaintance asks for advice, what should we do? Of course, it depends on several things, such as the nature of the problem, but one thing we should do is exercise caution by thinking before …

You can’t get ahead without getting along

Carmen Rundle (not her real name) writes, “I can’t help but feel guilty about resigning from a charity organization helping the poor. My sister, friend, and I have been working with them over a year organizing fund-raising projects. One of our recent projects was baking and selling cakes and cookies to the members of our church. My sister and I …

It’s never too late to find love

This article is in answer to a reader who is a 35-year-old male. Although I am addressing him, the principles I write about apply equally to men and women. So, if you are a woman, please change my gender references to make the article meaningful to you. Our reader writes, “I would love to have a girlfriend to spend time …

We communicate our love by showing or proving it

They do not love who do not show their love (William Shakespeare) Are you in love? Perhaps you have a sweetheart, are engaged or married. If so, how do you express your love? In the United States, partners do not hesitate to say “I love you.” Not only is it common to exchange these words daily, but sometimes they are …

You don’t have to be disagreeable when you disagree

When a friend makes a remark about the weather that you disagree with, it’s easy to dismiss such a trivial matter without getting upset. However, if the subject changes to politics, religion, or other sensitive subjects, a simple misunderstanding can become a disagreement, which then leads to a quarrel, which, in turn, could end in bitterness and a breakup. Friendships …

Brokenhearted? Take heart; you will not die

A reader is his early 30’s is distressed because his girlfriend, who is eleven years younger, ended their two-year relationship. Our reader writes, “I am going through a life crisis, it may not seem a big thing but I am finding it very hard to cope. She is on my mind all the time. Can you suggest any ways in …

Don’t waver, but savor the favor

Branko Copic (b. 1915) was a Bosnian-Herzegovinian writer well loved in his homeland, which was formerly known as the Federal Republic of Yugoslavia. His children stories, novels, narratives, and poetry touched the lives of many. One day in 1984 he called a friend to ask a favor. “Why don’t you come over so we can chat?” “I’m sorry, Branko,” his …

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Appearances Can Be Deceiving

The shimmering surface of a lake, glowing in the evening sun, may inspire us with its beauty. Yet, hidden beneath its surface may be an ugly blanket of toxic sludge. On the other hand, the ocean surface that is marred by unsightly patches of oil spilled by a tanker, may conceal within its depths animal life of great beauty. Can …