Doris is unhappy because she thinks life is unfair. Hal is always angry because everyone he meets is a jerk. Beth is always getting into arguments because everyone is trying to take advantage of her. Frank can’t hold a job because he refuses to put up with office politics.
It’s time for the truth to be known. Doris’ problem isn’t that life is unfair, but that she THINKS it is. Her problem isn’t with life, but with her THOUGHTS. Hal’s problem isn’t due to jerks, but to his FEELINGS, which he is responsible for. Beth’s problem isn’t being exploited by others. Rather, it is her own ACTIONS that bring her so much grief. Finally, Frank’s problem isn’t office politics, but his own poor ATTITUDE.
What is ATTITUDE? It is our perspective or view of life and is composed of our thoughts, feelings, and actions. The cornerstone of everything, however, is our THOUGHTS because without them there would be no feelings or actions. Our thoughts, then, are the building blocks of our reality. Or as expressed by Buddha (568 ~ 488 BC), “We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world.”
Things happen to us. We then interpret events and take action. In other words, life acts and we react. We are free to interpret events in a positive or negative manner. If we’re wise enough to look at things in a positive light, we lead happy lives. If we allow ourselves to get bogged down in negative thoughts, we lead miserable lives. That’s why it’s time to think about what we think about. It’s time to monitor our thoughts and control them, rather than have them control us.
Now, let’s look at a typical life event, interpret it, and follow it to its conclusion. Imagine that I’m walking down a crowded street after a rainfall. Someone behind me is walking quickly while holding a folded umbrella. As he struts, he carelessly swings his arms to and fro, stabbing the air with the pointed end of his umbrella. As he tries to pass me – Ouch! – he pokes me in the knee.
What just happened is an event. It stimulates my mind and triggers a thought. “What a careless jerk,” I think, as I rub my knee. This thought then provokes an emotion, which in this case is anger. The emotion arises spontaneously and I have no control over it. However, what happens next is critical. I can STOP and think before I act, or I can allow myself to be swept away by the emotion. That is, I can choose to rule my emotions or by relinquishing my responsibility allow them to rule me.
In this case, I give in to my anger by reacting negatively. Before he gets away, I yell, “Hey, stupid! Watch who you are hitting with your umbrella, you jerk!” Not surprisingly, my hostility infuriates the man who hit me by accident, so he stops and confronts me. As you can see, my negativity attracts MORE negativity. Bigger than me, the angry man punches me in the face. After returning home, my wife looks at my bloodied face and asks me what happened. I reply, “Some jerk hit me in the face.” Do you see what has happened? I blamed an external event for my misery, when, in fact, I created it.
Now, let’s see what happens when I monitor my thoughts. Same example. I get hit by an umbrella, think the guy who hit me is careless, and feel angry. But this time, before acting, I STOP. I pause. I hesitate. Why? Because I remember that my emotions are messages from my Higher Self. Although we have many emotions, they can be broken down into two groups: good feelings and bad feelings. When I feel bad, such as when I’m angry, my Higher Self is warning me that I’m straying from my goals of perfect freedom, endless growth, and joy. After all, anger, and other negative emotions, can enslave, stunt growth, and squelch happiness.
So, this is why I decide to STOP being angry. Instead, I decide to look at the event rationally. Why did the man hit me with the umbrella? Because he was thoughtless and careless. Why was he careless? Well, he’s a human, isn’t he? What human hasn’t been careless? Haven’t I been careless before? Of course, I have. With these THOUGHTS in mind, I forgive him, and all my anger subsides. I FEEL better. Although I could end it here, I decide to speak to the man before he pokes out the eye of some small child. “Excuse me, Sir,” I say, you just hit me in the knee with your umbrella. Please try not to hit anyone else.” The man stops, profusely apologizes, and promises to be more careful.
Do you see what has happened this time? My positive behaviour attracted more positivity into my life. I have helped to make the world a little bit safer. How do I feel? Great! Because I am feeling great, I will continue treating others with kindness and respect throughout the day. And as I do so, they will reflect my attitude by treating me well, too.
Because we are creating our own reality with our thoughts, it is important to get into the habit of listening to the messages of our Higher Self. Our Higher Self is also called our Inner Self, True Self, Divine Spark, Subconscious, Collective-Unconscious, Inner Being, Inner Guidance, Inner Voice, or simply Conscience. What we call it depends on our viewpoint, be it spiritual, religious, philosophical, psychological, or other. It’s not important what you call it or whether you understand it or not. The only important thing to know is its value. In a way, it’s like electricity. You don’t have to understand how it works, all you need to know is how to benefit from it.
When it gets dark, don’t curse the darkness; turn on the light switch! If your life seems to be heading downhill, don’t despair, but stop and listen to your Inner Voice and follow its guidance. The formula is quite simple. When we do good, we feel good. When we feel good, we treat others well. When we treat others well, they do likewise. The result of all of this is happiness.
Because negativity and positivity attract more of the same, it is easy to get locked into a life of misery or a life of joy. It depends on which path we choose to follow. If we wish to experience perfect freedom, endless growth, and joy, one thing is clear: we need to monitor our thoughts and think about what we are thinking about.
I have also created a diagram of the entire process of how we create our lives with our thoughts. It is a visual presentation of this article and helps to clarify everything.
The process of self-creation can be summarized as follows. Something happens in our life, and that event acts as a stimulus, triggering a thought. The nature of that thought (positive or negative) is determined by our attitude. And our attitude is shaped by the majority of our previous thoughts, emotions, and actions.
Once we have a thought, it is immediately accompanied by an emotion or feeling. Negative thoughts lead to negative emotions and positive thoughts to positive feelings. Our positive or negative emotions then lead to positive or negative behavior. Negative behavior leads to negative outcomes and positive behavior to positive outcomes. The outcomes, or results and consequences of our behavior, then reinforce our attitude, causing us to become locked into a negative or positive lifestyle.
If we are unhappy with our current situation, we can interrupt the cycle of negativity by changing our focus from what we are to what we plan to become, from what we lack to what we already have and plan to have. In other words, all we have to do is change our thoughts. To help us do this, our Higher Self warns us every time we do something wrong by causing us to feel bad. Negative emotions, such as frustration, anger, and sadness are warnings that if we wish to experience happiness, we have to change our thoughts and their resultant emotions, actions, and consequences.
Sometimes, however, even if we accept all the above and work on changing ourselves, progress is slower than we would like. It is like driving through mud. Because of the absence of traction, we make little progress. What do we do then? That’s the purpose of this article. You see, I want to introduce you to the art of meditation. It removes the mud. It unclogs the road so we can make smooth progress. The road I am speaking about is the channel of communication between our conscious mind and Higher Self. Meditation makes us more aware of our Inner Voice or Inner Guidance. It makes us more likely to listen for and follow the warnings that our Higher Self so graciously whispers. Without meditation, our Inner Voice is often lost in the din of internal chattering known as self-talk.
But why do I have to meditate? Isn’t it unnatural to withdraw from the world? Look, if you live in New York City and return to your apartment, you are not leaving or withdrawing from New York. Your apartment is part of New York. Besides, while at home you may read the paper to increase your understanding of the city and enjoy it even more. Similarly, when we meditate we are merely returning to our home, our inner world, which is very much a part of the outer world. And our rest there strengthens us and improves our lives.
Okay. Then, what is meditation and how do we go about it? A complete explanation would need a book. After all, meditators have numerous objectives and there are hundreds of methods to help them reach their goals. My aim here is merely to introduce you to the subject and share ONE way of removing the ‘mud’ by clearing the mind.
Meditation that is used to clear the mind is not about thinking. That’s why this article is subtitled “Meditation is not what you think.” To clear the mind, we have to do the opposite. We have to empty our mind of all thoughts. We are not our thoughts any more than we are our arms or legs. As human beings, we have limbs, and as thinkers, we have thoughts. But we are not our thoughts. As we brush our thoughts aside, all that remains is our Higher Self (also called our True Self). By abandoning all thought, we discover the core of our being. Paraphrasing Alan W. Watts (1915 ~ 1973), this process is like a courteous audience that stops talking when a concert is about to begin.
But how is it possible to empty our minds or ‘think about nothing’? Admittedly, it’s not easy. But neither is it as difficult as you may imagine. Pretend you are in the countryside. You are seated beneath a tree and beautiful blue flowers bloom at your feet. You pluck a flower and raise it to your nose. How many thoughts does it take to enjoy its fragrance? How many thoughts does it take to soak in the velvety feeling of the flower petals? How many thoughts does it take to see the explosion of yellow that appears in the heart of the flower? How many thoughts does it take to taste a drop of the flower’s nectar? How many thoughts does it take to hear a meadowlark singing in the background?
The answer, my friend, is none. When we drop our thoughts, we are free to experience reality unclouded by preconceptions, labels, and assumptions. At such a time, we get to see the world as it is instead of as we THINK it is. By applying the principles in our example of the countryside visit, we can arrive at a method to meditate without thinking.
Sit yourself comfortably and sit straight. Take a few deep breaths and relax all over. Close your eyes and pretend to be in the countryside. Imagine that you are looking at a flower, or twig, or blade of grass, or even an unidentifiable blob. There is nothing to think about. Just look. As you do so, the flower, twig, blade of grass, or blob may change color, shape, or size. If it does, that’s okay. If it doesn’t, that’s okay, too. Don’t comment on it. Don’t judge it. Don’t expect anything. Merely sit still and observe.
As you practice this exercise, stray thoughts will wander through your mind like leaves blown about by the wind. That’s okay, but as soon as you are aware of them, gently sweep them aside and return to the exercise. Alternatively, if you can’t sweep your thoughts aside, treat each one as a flower, twig, blade of grass, or blob. That is, observe them being blown about by a breeze. Don’t comment on them. Don’t label them as good or bad, positive or negative, or true of false. Just watch them slowly recede into the distance, only to be replaced by other leave-thoughts.
You can start out practicing this exercise for ten minutes a day and work yourself up to 20 ~ 30 minutes a day. As you do so, you will remove roadblocks and enable your Subconscious or Higher Self to communicate more freely with your conscious mind. Intuition, inspiration, and guidance will come your way automatically.