Sometimes life demands that we deal with toxic people around us whether coworkers, family members or neighbors.
The question lies in how we handle toxic people when we cannot avoid them, as we often cannot escape toxic people for one reason or another.
First, who are toxic people, and what characteristics define them?
I will give you my definition: if a person makes me feel angry, cynical, less worthy, or more tense, that person is toxic to me. In most cases, I follow my instinct about toxic individuals who are mean or verbally aggressive toward me.
However, the best way to deal with a problem is to try to understand it; if we can understand what’s going on, we can do something to change the situation. Therefore, let’s first try to understand why people act this way.
Toxic people don’t hate others, they hate themselves; as a result, they cannot be happy for anyone around them. Usually, toxic people are jealous, deeply wounded, prone to gossip, and don’t want to ask for professional help in dealing with their personal problems. They live in constant internal and emotional pain that they cannot overcome.
It isn’t easy to be around them or to interact with them, as it can make you feel exhausted, intimidated, or angry.
Whenever these people say or do something inappropriate to you, it’s always more about them than about you. If you can accept this fact, you will feel better and healthier.
Toxic people project their feelings on you, not just their pain but also their life experiences and perceptions of the world. They want you to feel the way they do.
My friend once told me, “When I feel furious toward someone, I repeat this mantra, despite my anger, resistance, and frustration. I force myself to say: ‘May you be happy, may you be filled with peace.’”
I feel sorry for toxic people because they are not happy with their life, so they attack others to feel better.
You cannot fix toxic people or anyone besides yourself. You can only choose how you respond.
First, don’t jump right into the action. Wait several minutes to allow the rational part of the brain to override the emotional part of the brain. Reacting instantly and emotionally can often be harmful.
You have two options when dealing with toxic people: respond with a relaxed mindset or don’t respond to at all. Remember, how people treat you is not your problem or fault. You only have control over how you react.