The Loss of Dreams and Expectations

It’s very easy, in these stressful days, to lose dreams and expectations. Many things are happening that make burnout a great possibility. What`s going on in the mind when we are under stress, lose our dreams and expectations, and experience other troubles?

Under pressure from worries or stress, our mind (brain) works differently than when we are relaxed. The reason is well known: the mind-body connection. Our behavior depends on our thoughts, life experiences, and how we see and interpret a situation.

Our brain’s chemistry works differently when we are in different states of mind.  In a situation where our brain “works properly”, we are kind, joyful, and loving. Oppositely, when we have troubled minds, we are unsatisfied and angry, looking for trouble outside our own troubled minds. In short, the brain’s “moody chemicals” makes us unpleasant as a person.  When we feel angry or sad, we need to ask ourselves: What’s bothering me? Is it my anxiety, depression, or an obsessive thought that is making me feeling like this?

Our social environment plays a huge role in our mindset as well. We can’t expect to be at our best if we are surrounded with people who are always bringing us down. Negativity will destroy our positive energy.

Our behaviors and minds determine our relationships, work position, and even our social status. Due to the influence of the mind-body-behavior connection, we can feel helpless, meaningless, isolated, or depressed due to the loss of dreams and expectations. Also, losing dreams can lead to low self-esteem and a feeling of purposeless in life. Fortunately, there is a help out there.

If our “moody behavior” is a result of a mood-related disorder, we need the help of the professionals.  First, figure out what the present situation is. Feeling worthless, overwhelmed, down? Did you isolate yourself from a social environment? Did you increase your use of alcohol?  Are your health problems worsening? If the answer to any of the above questions is yes, there is a need for medical attention. Only highly trained professionals can help.

What can we do to protect ourselves from burnout, anxiety, or depression caused by the mind-body connection? I know, it’s easier to say than to do, but we have so many choices to help ourselves. Consider building a support system. Besides professionals, your support system could include family members, friends, colleges, or support groups. Learning how to manage stress or anger will definitely improve your behavior. Having a new hobby could also improve your overall social life. Keeping your mind busy with different activities is one of the best ways to improve the mind-body connection.

The point is a person’s way of thinking and the distorted processing of his or her social environment could be the cause of stress, fatigue, or problems at work. Obviously, we can take a vacation, change our jobs, or take the time for rest, but if we don’t change our attitude, we will end up back in the same place.

I know a person who admitted to me, “I cured myself with the help of …humor! Sounds `crazy’,” he said, “but I can say that I changed my attitude, reduced stress, and improved my physical health with humor. For me,” he added, “the best antidote for my `sick mind’ was humor.”

Could we try the same?

Before starting to change ourselves, we need to remember that everything depends on our will and desire to change the present situation. A fundamental requirement for that is that we believe in, respect, and like ourselves. Punishing ourselves for a failure is a big mistake. Accepting that everything we have done in the past is understandable from the viewpoint of our circumstances is helpful way to cope. Believing in ourselves with a passion will create a happy environment.

How do you manage the loss of dreams and expectations? The very first step could be facing the loss with confidence and a clear mind. Accept the reality; do not try to run away from it. For some people, the next thing to do is to stop criticizing your own actions. Negative self-talk will undermine confidence and courage; it will make your problems more difficult to deal with.

Sharing the loss of dreams with friends is also a good way of coping. Sometimes, personal difficulties are just in the mind and imagination. Sharing our view with others can help us to clarify what’s happening to us. Always keep in mind: what we say to ourselves becomes the truth due to constant repetition. Don’t be surprised if negativity becomes reality.