When Life Doesn’t Go the Way You Want

Each of us hopes that our life will go the way we want it to, and that things will turn out the way we think they should. If, however, life doesn’t go the way we want it to, our first response is to try to fix the problem—to gain control of our life and to protect ourselves from uncertainty and trouble. There isn’t anything wrong with that, but only under one condition: This “fixing” strategy should be balanced with an opposite strategy: knowing how to let go of having it “your way.” Real wisdom is knowing when to fight…and when to let go.

When life goes “off track,” don’t feel self-pity, bitterness, a sense of unworthiness, or jealousy. These feelings are a trap that your mind offers you as a means to compensate for your dissatisfaction. You don’t need to latch onto negativity if life temporarily goes a way in which you don’t want it to.

In times of adversity, try to keep your basic sense of self-worthiness, self-confidence, and self-understanding intact so that you’ll be equipped to handle whatever life presents to you, and so that you never stop loving yourself unconditionally. What I’ve just described isn’t selfishness—it’s the power of your desire to survive. You can’t survive without love for yourself and for your loved ones. True love is a healing energy and a source of power.

I don’t want to give you false hope that “eventually, everything will be okay.” No life comes with an insurance policy guaranteeing that “bad things won’t happen to good people.” Unfortunately, sometimes your fears do come true, and sometimes your dreams don’t come true.

So what? Are you going to stop living? Of course not! What, then, are you going to do?

All you can do—and what you should do—is this: Live in the present, and live the life your want to live. The present time is the only time when you can do something about your life and your circumstances. The past is gone, and the future has not yet happened.

A number of fears and anxieties are caused from not being able to live up to our own high expectations. Who said that you need to do all things according to your expectations? You can’t be positive and in control at all times; you have to give yourself some space for making mistakes and for getting around, or climbing over, obstacles. Nobody is perfect—why should you be an exception?

Why am I dispensing all this negativity? To protect you from disappointment!

I know: When things go the way you don’t want, you will often start to complain how life is not fair. My question to you is this: Who told you that life should be fair? I’m sorry, but that person was just plain wrong. Yes, life is beautiful and amazing but always unpredictable and sometimes unfair.

If life doesn’t go the way you want it to, make sure that you have support from people who’ll be there for you when you feel that life seems too hard to handle—people who’ll remind you to love the life you have and to start creating the life you want.