Although the focus of this article may be on business relationships, much of what follows applies to all relationships. The subject is an important one; after all, if we treasure our possessions, job, reputation, or power more than our relationships, all will suffer. In fact, the quality of our lives will be determined by the quality of our relationships. Moreover, …
If You Would Have a Good Wife, Be a Good Husband
I. The Problem A 34-year-old engineer from India asks about a marital problem. I will call him Aastik, a name that means “who has faith in God.” Aastik writes, “I have been married for nine years, have a son, and live with my wife and parents. My younger sisters got married about the same time as me. Despite my parent’s …
Disturbing Divorce Dilemma
Divorce may be common, but that doesn’t make it any less painful. Death is also common, but the greatest pain we will experience is the death of those we love the most. And the second greatest pain humans experience is the death of their marriage: divorce. Today’s article is prompted by a European reader, who I will call Anna. I …
Relationships are for growing, not for growing apart
A reader writes, “I’m 26 and my boyfriend is 29. We’ve been together for just under a year. “I was once a self confessed pessimist, but gradually turned myself into an optimist. My boyfriend is a really hardcore pessimist. He believes he is a realist, and that I have my head in the clouds. “I want to try and help …
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement RING, wedding RING, suffeRING
Today’s subject is marital difficulties. I will begin by sharing the email I received requesting help. Then I will follow it with a second email that provided more information by answering my questions. After receiving the second email, I gave our reader “homework” to do for three days. You may find these exercises helpful for you as well, and they …
There Are No Jerks, Only People
What would everyone you know say if you were to ask them, Did you ever meet a jerk? Wouldn’t they all reply yes? If so, that must mean there are a lot of jerks! Where do they all come from, and why is this an important question? Lets begin by analyzing where jerks come from. 1. MISUNDERSTANDING. Where do jerks …
Infidelity: It’s not whom you lie with. It’s whom you lie to
A woman reader asks, “How do you react when you find out that your mate has been unfaithful to you?” A question like this is fraught with difficulties. First, the degree to which infidelity, adultery, or unfaithfulness is condemned varies from culture to culture. In much of the world, for example, polygamy is still practiced. Second, the person posing the …
You must pre-live the future, not re-live the past
Stan is twenty-three, a university graduate, and employed by a reputable firm. His high school ‘romance’ fizzled out while he was going to the university. In his senior year, he met someone else, and soon they become a couple. Recently, however, his girlfriend ended the relationship. Stan feels devastated. He can’t get her out of his mind and finds it …
A helping hand or a slap in the face?
The same hand that helps can be used to hurt. Sometimes, despite our good intentions, we cause pain instead of relieving it. If a friend or acquaintance asks for advice, what should we do? Of course, it depends on several things, such as the nature of the problem, but one thing we should do is exercise caution by thinking before …
You can’t get ahead without getting along
Carmen Rundle (not her real name) writes, “I can’t help but feel guilty about resigning from a charity organization helping the poor. My sister, friend, and I have been working with them over a year organizing fund-raising projects. One of our recent projects was baking and selling cakes and cookies to the members of our church. My sister and I …