Relationships are for growing, not for growing apart

A reader writes, “I’m 26 and my boyfriend is 29.  We’ve been together for just under a year. “I was once a self confessed pessimist, but gradually turned myself into an optimist.  My boyfriend is a really hardcore pessimist. He believes he is a realist, and that I have my head in the clouds. “I want to try and help …

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement RING, wedding RING, suffeRING

Today’s subject is marital difficulties. I will begin by sharing the email I received requesting help. Then I will follow it with a second email that provided more information by answering my questions. After receiving the second email, I gave our reader “homework” to do for three days. You may find these exercises helpful for you as well, and they …

There Are No Jerks, Only People

What would everyone you know say if you were to ask them, Did you ever meet a jerk? Wouldn’t they all reply yes? If so, that must mean there are a lot of jerks! Where do they all come from, and why is this an important question? Lets begin by analyzing where jerks come from. 1. MISUNDERSTANDING. Where do jerks …

Infidelity: It’s not whom you lie with. It’s whom you lie to

A woman reader asks, “How do you react when you find out that your mate has been unfaithful to you?” A question like this is fraught with difficulties. First, the degree to which infidelity, adultery, or unfaithfulness is condemned varies from culture to culture. In much of the world, for example, polygamy is still practiced. Second, the person posing the …

You must pre-live the future, not re-live the past

Stan is twenty-three, a university graduate, and employed by a reputable firm. His high school ‘romance’ fizzled out while he was going to the university. In his senior year, he met someone else, and soon they become a couple. Recently, however, his girlfriend ended the relationship. Stan feels devastated. He can’t get her out of his mind and finds it …

A helping hand or a slap in the face?

The same hand that helps can be used to hurt. Sometimes, despite our good intentions, we cause pain instead of relieving it. If a friend or acquaintance asks for advice, what should we do? Of course, it depends on several things, such as the nature of the problem, but one thing we should do is exercise caution by thinking before …

You can’t get ahead without getting along

Carmen Rundle (not her real name) writes, “I can’t help but feel guilty about resigning from a charity organization helping the poor. My sister, friend, and I have been working with them over a year organizing fund-raising projects. One of our recent projects was baking and selling cakes and cookies to the members of our church. My sister and I …

It’s never too late to find love

This article is in answer to a reader who is a 35-year-old male. Although I am addressing him, the principles I write about apply equally to men and women. So, if you are a woman, please change my gender references to make the article meaningful to you. Our reader writes, “I would love to have a girlfriend to spend time …

What are the Challenges of Love?

Real love stories never have endings (Richard Bach) With Valentine’s Day almost here, today’s article on romantic relationships is timely. However, it is prompted by a reader’s two-part question: “Is it true that it is easier to forgive than to forget?” and “What are the challenges of love?” Let’s dive in at once, considering the questions in the order in …

Brokenhearted? Take heart; you will not die

A reader is his early 30’s is distressed because his girlfriend, who is eleven years younger, ended their two-year relationship. Our reader writes, “I am going through a life crisis, it may not seem a big thing but I am finding it very hard to cope. She is on my mind all the time. Can you suggest any ways in …